Watching Over You
by filmgurl2008
Summary: Dean has been friends with Castiel since they were kids, and has also been in love with him for years.He tells Cas how he feels.But Cas dies and becomes an Angel.He watches over Dean.FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Watching Over You.

**Pairings: **Dean X Castiel. Sam X Spencer.

**Crossover: **Mainly Supernatural, slight Criminal Minds.

**Rating: **M

**Warning: **Slash (maleXmale), Character death,Language, Depression, Violence, AU storyline (And I have also made Sam two years younger than Dean instead of four for a reason).

**Summary: **Dean has been friends with Castiel since they were kids, and has also been in love with him for years. He finally tells Cas how he feels and they get together...they're deeply in love and Dean can't see himself been with anyone else, ever. But...then there's a tragic accident and Cas dies. Castiel then becomes an Angel and watches over Dean, only to find someone is out to kill him. Cas is enraged and goes back to earth to protect Dean. But things aren't that simple.

* * *

Chapter One: One Year and Four Months Anniversary.

"Dean! Hey, Dean! Cas is here!" Sam yelled from the sofa in the living room.

Castiel shut the front door behind him and took off his shoes, placing them with Dean's and Sam's that were kicked carelessly around in the space behind the door. He walked into the living room area and moved over towards the sofa. He stopped close to the arm when he saw someone sitting beside Sam. He titled his head to the side, just as he always did when he was confused or curious. "Who is you friend, Sam?"

Sam looked away from the TV programme he was watching and up to Castiel at the other end of the sofa. He smiled widely. "My friend."

The _friend_ looked away from Sam's face and up to Castiel. "Hello, I'm Spencer." He said and did a little wave.

Castiel waved back. "Hello, I am Castiel."

Sam burst out laughing. "You two are so weird." He stopped laughing when they both frowned at him. "I'm only joking. Anyway, if you weren't so weird I probably wouldn't like you both so much." His smile turned from a wide sweet one to a sort of mischievous one. He wrapped his arm around Spencer shoulders, pulling him close. "And, I wouldn't _love you_ so much." He said and then pressed his lips to Spencer's cheek.

Castiel's eyebrows rose in surprise; that was unexpected. He watched Spencer's face turn bright red as Sam pulled his black rimmed glasses off, place them on the coffee table in front of them and then press his lips to Spencer's. He then realised it was probably time for him to leave. As he started walking down the hallway to Dean's bedroom, he could hear the two younger boy's voices.

"Sam, what're you doing!"

"You said it was okay to kiss you now."

"Not in front of other people!"

"It was only Cas, he won't say owt bad to you. Now if it was Dean, I'd understand you freaking out...but it was Cas!"

Castiel smiled lightly; Dean would have defiantly teased the young sandy brown haired boy...he would have known better than to tease Sam, he would have retaliated by saying something about him and Dean, probably. He reached Dean's door just as the voices from the living room faded out. He knocked once before opening the door and going into his boyfriend's room. "Dean?" He asked quietly. He had to squint to try and see something in the dark room; it was bright outside, but Dean had black curtains so no light could get through and wake him up.

"Hmmm..." Dean murmured from the bed.

Castiel knew where the bed was even in the dark, so he made his way to it –hitting his feet on various things on the floor. He would tell Dean to clean up after they got back from where they were going. "Dean." He said as he gently pushed on Dean's shoulder after sitting on the edge of the bed. "Dean, wake up." Suddenly Castiel was pulled down onto the bed, his back flat against the mattress...and Dean laid on top of him.

"I'm already awake." Dean grinned down at Castiel.

Castiel looked up at Dean, a small frown on his face. "You have been waiting here for me to come in...haven't you?"

Dean's grin widened. He moved around a little so he was resting on his forearms instead of his hands, the bottom of his stomach and his groin pressed flush against Castiel's body. He pecked his lips against Castiel's. "Maybe."

"There is no maybe about it, and you know it."

"Yeah, you're right." Dean said before pressing his lips to Castiel's, this time giving his younger partner time to respond...but only for a few seconds before pulling away slightly and licking at his lips. "I just wanted to see you on my bed again."

Castiel laughed lightly. "I was on your bed the night before yesterday."

"Really?" Dean asked before pecking at his lips again. "Feels longer than that." He licked at his boyfriend's lips again and then watched him open his mouth. He smiled and pushed his tongue into his mouth, loving the feeling of been inside Castiel...even if it was only his mouth. He gripped at Castiel's hips, pulling him up against him as their kiss deepened.

Castiel's arms wrapped around his blond partner's shoulders, one hand twisting into Dean's short hair. He pushed against Dean's body as his partner pulled him against him. He moaned when he felt Dean's groin rub against his thigh.

Dean pulled away and grinned down at Cas, who was panting; they had been together for over a year now –one year and four months, exactly-...and he loved the fact that he could still make Castiel pant like that just from a kiss. He ground down harder against Castiel, groaning as he felt his younger lover's body reacting to his. "I want you so bad." He whispered into his ear and pressing down harder.

"Nnn..." Cas moaned. "W-wait...Sam is in the living room."

"And?"

"And? We can't do this with Sam in the house." Castiel said pushing at Dean's shoulder; he really, really wanted Dean...but not while Sam was in the house and it was kind of early.

"We always do it with Sam in the house." Dean whined, nuzzling Castiel's neck.

"Not...not while he's a-awake."

"Urgh, fine." Dean said and climbed off of Cas. He sat next to his boyfriend and looked down at him, feeling bad for sounding so irritated when he saw the sadness on Cas' face. "Hey, it's okay. You're right anyway." He smiled softly and leaned forward to kiss him sweetly but passionately.

* * *

"Sammy, get off the geek." Dean said as he walked past the sofa and saw his brother pressed against Spencer, who was pushed up against the back of the sofa, their lips locked together and Sam holding the slightly older boy's hands above his head.

Sam quickly pulled away from Spencer and looked towards Dean, who had sat down at the table –that was behind the sofa- next to Castiel. "Dean!" He yelled.

"What?"

"Stopping calling him that!" Sam said heatedly as he kneeled on the sofa, glaring at his older brother...who was only wearing his dark blue faded jeans. "And put a shirt on!"

"But he is a geek...Spencer you are a geek."

Spencer peeked over the back of the sofa and looked over at Dean and Castiel, his cheeks bright red. "Yes, I've been told." He smiled timidly.

"See. He doesn't care." Dean said smiling at his brother and his friend.

Sam glared at his brother for a few more seconds before turning around and climbing off of the sofa. "C'mon, Spence." He said as he grabbed the glasses off the coffee table and walked to the hall.

"Where are we going?" Spencer asked as he slid off the sofa and followed Sam.

"Out. I'll be back later." Sam said looking back into the living room at his brother.

Spencer peeked into the living room and looked over at Castiel. "It was nice meeting you." He smiled before he was pulled away by Sam.

Dean chuckled. "He really is a little geek."

Castiel turned to look at Dean. "He seems very nice."

"Yeah...he is. Sam really likes him." Dean said, his voice suddenly going quiet.

Castiel tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Is it that you don't? Or that Sam has someone other than you?" He asked; he knew how close he and Sam were...and he couldn't help but wonder if he was jealous of Spencer because he was close to Sam too.

Dean looked at him, a soft and slightly sad expression on his face. "No, I mean I don't know. Sam's my little brother, he's the only family I have left...I just want him to be careful. I don't want him to get hurt."

Castiel looked down to the floor, trying to hide the hurt on his face; he had known Dean and Sam since they were kids, they were both practically his family...how could Dean only think he had Sam? "Sam is a sensible boy; he knows what he is doing and what he wants...and right now that seems to be Spencer. And by the looks of it...that boy would not hurt a thing, especially Sam. So do not worry."

Dean placed his hand on Castiel's knee, giving it a squeeze. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Cas." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Cas' cheek. "Good job I have you, otherwise I'd be all alone." He said leaning his forehead against Castiel's head. "I love you, y'know?" He added quietly.

Castiel turned his head slightly, their foreheads now pressed together. "I love you too." He smiled, glad that Dean knew he didn't just have Sam.

"So, what are we doing today?"

"I thought we were going to go out?"

"Arhg! That's so boring!" Dean whined, throwing his head back and pressing his lips together as he looked at Cas out of the corner of his eyes...a hopeful and playful glint to them.

Castiel looked at Dean, knowing he was playing and knowing exactly what he wanted to do. "You would rather stay in?" The only response he got was Dean's wide and happy grin. Castiel titled his head to the side, knowing just how much his blond boyfriend liked it when he did that. "And what would we be doing while we stayed inside?"

Dean sat up properly and looked at Cas, his grin still in place. He stood up and pulled his dark haired lover up from his chair and pulled his body flush against his. "You know exactly what we'll be doing." He whispered lowly into Castiel's ear and then moved his lips to his neck, kissing a line down the soft smooth skin –loving how Cas moans and moves his head back, giving him more room-, before licking his way back up his neck.

Castiel's eyes closed as he felt Dean's tongue on his neck and he pushed forward into Dean's body. His hands gripped tightly at his lovers shoulders as he felt his teeth bite into his neck lightly, but hard enough to mark as he started to suck and lick the now aching skin. "D-Dean..."

"Yeah, Cas?" Dean asked, stopping his ministrations on Castiel's neck.

"We are not doing it in the living room." Castiel said quietly, his hands gripping tighter at Dean's shoulders. "And...we are still going to go out afterwards." He moved his head so his lips were close to Dean's, his eyes locked on his boyfriend's full plump lips.

Dean half-smirked. "Sure, you're the one that has problems walking afterwards not me." He closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to Castiel's in a deep kiss, his tongue slipping into the other's mouth almost immediately.

* * *

Dean's tongue swept across Castiel's lips as he pulled out of their kiss. "You ready?" He asked looking straight down into Cas' deep blue eyes. Although he had asked Cas the question, his fingers were still buried deep inside of his lover.

"Yes, Dean...you have been o-opening me up for almost t-twenty minutes now..." Castiel said and raised his hand to stroke at Dean's cheek softly. He knew why Dean always spent so long at opening him up for him; the first time they had had sex, Dean was...well, a little eager to be inside of him –or so Dean had told him afterwards- and he hadn't prepared him properly and the whole thing had ended up hurting and been a mess and just plain embarrassing for both of them. Even though he had told Dean it was okay and that he really didn't need to spend so long on preparing him...without fail, Dean always spent ages preparing him.

"Okay, okay." Dean said and slipped his fingers out from Castiel's wet heat. He spread Castiel's legs a little wider and slowly pushed the head of his hard weeping cock into his boyfriend's thoroughly stretched hole. He pressed his body down onto Castiel's –also making his cock slip into his lover more. "You okay?" He asked; his face only inches from Cas'.

Castiel nodded and panted. "Y-yes...please...w-want you-ah!" He screamed out as Dean pushed in hard, pressing the rest of his long thick length into him. His breathing deepened, his chest rising and falling rapidly against Dean's.

After a minute or so Dean pressed his lips to Castiel's in a quick kiss. "Can I move?" He asked resting his forehead to his. Cas nodded. He started moving in and out of his younger lover slowly for a few thrust, but he quickly gained speed and in no time Castiel's back was arched from the bed, his front pressing hard into Dean's and his mouth open as he moaned loudly. He pressed his lips to Cas' forehead, his jaw-line, his neck and then his lips. He pulled away and rested his head in the crook of Cas' neck. "Castiel...Castiel...Castiel..." He chanted as he pounded into his younger lover harder.

Castiel gasped and his grip tightened around Dean's shoulders –and his legs did around his waist-; Dean only ever used his full name when they were like this, and with it been chanted in a low husky whisper...well, it did more than just make his hard cock twitch. "A-ah...ah, Dean...I-I'm gonna..."

Dean kissed just below his ear before saying, "Cum for me, Cas_tiel_."

Castiel moaned out loudly as his hips rocked up against Dean's, his cock pushing into Dean's stomach harder than it had been doing...less than a second later his white hot seed splashed over Dean's stomach. He cried out Dean's name.

Dean bit down on Castiel's neck as he came inside of his boyfriend; hearing Castiel scream out his name was just too much. He laid still on –and inside- Cas, just listening to his deep breathing. He pressed little lazy kisses to Cas' neck.

"Y-you are a little heavy, Dean." Castiel said, his hands stroking Dean's back. His hand's stopped at his shoulders and he lifted his head to look at the little dents in his lover's skin. "Erm...i-it seems I have left marks on your skin." He said, his fingertips tracing the marks he had left.

Dean smirked and rolled off and out of Cas gently. "Don't worry 'bout it..." He raised his hand to Cas' neck and traced his fingertips over the now red-purple bruise on his neck. "I did too."

Castiel smiled at Dean, whose smile was more of a triumphant one than a sweet one. He rolled over onto his side and laid his arm over Dean's chest. "That is okay..." He said as he snuggled up to Dean's side. "I love you."

Dean smiled widely. "Good. Love you too." He wrapped his arms around Castiel and pulled him even closer. They both laid there in silence and after a short while, they had both fallen asleep.

* * *

-Ring- -Ring-

-Ring- -Ring-

Castiel's eyes blinked open slowly. He sat up, disentangling his body from Dean's arms and legs carefully not to wake him up. He rubbed at his eyes.

-Ring- -Ring-

He looked towards the window, and frowned lightly as he noticed it was dark outside –the curtains were parted slightly-...they had slept the day away. Perfect.

-Ring- -Rin-

He turned to look at the bedside table, Dean's phone had woken him...but it had just stopped ringing. He shrugged and just as he was about to lay back down, the noise started again.

-Ring- -Ring-

-Ring-

He grabbed the phone quickly from the table –flopping his body onto Dean's as he reached for it; he didn't care if he woke him up now...it was his phone that was making all the noise anyway- and flipped it open. "Hello? This is Dean Winchester's cel-!"

"_Cas!"_

"S-Sam?" Castiel asked unsurely; the voice at the other end of the phone sounded distressed and painful...nothing like Sam's voice at all.

"_Cas! Oh, thank god you answered!"_ Sam said loudly down the phone. His voice was horse and filled with panic. _"I need you an' Dean t' come pick us up, now!" _

"Sam, calm down. Tell me what is wrong." He said in a calm serious tone, one that always seemed to be able to calm both Sam and Dean down when they were distressed; he had no idea how or why it worked, but he was thankful that it did.

Underneath him, he could feel Dean stirring...and then his hand slide down from its place on his back to his bum. "What're you doing?" Dean asked and Castiel could hear the smirk in it; the blond no doubt thought he was trying wake him so they could go another round.

"Shush Dean, Sam is on the phone." He said in a serious tone.

Dean looked out of the window, it was dark...and Sam wasn't back yet? He knew the rule about been home before it was dark, so where was he? "What? He isn't home yet?"

Castiel shook his head. "Sam?"

"_Cas, please! Hurry!" _Sam yelled down the phone. _"We were jumped, okay! And the bastards really hurt Spence, he's bleeding badly an' I don't know what to do! Get Dean, okay, I need Dean!" _

Castiel's stomach twisted and he felt like he was going to be sick; Sam was crying...he could practically hear the tears streaming down his face. "Okay, Sam, tell me where you are."

"_At the field behind the school, please Cas, hurry, he isn't talking anymore!" _

"We are on our way." Castiel shut the phone and scrambled off of the bed quickly.

"Cas, what's wrong? What's going on? Is Sammy okay?" Dean asked panicking. He climbed off the bed and started pulling his cloths on, following Cas' lead.

"Sam and Spencer were jumped."

"What!"

"Dean, I do not know the details, but we need to hurry. By the sounds of it, Spencer is unconscious and Sam will probably be hurt too."

"Come on then!" Dean shouted as he rushed from the bedroom and into the living room, grabbing his car keys.

* * *

End of chapter 1!

Thanks for reading! I was going to wait till I had a few chapters of this written before posting it...but I just couldn't, lol. I know exactly what is going to happen in this story and I really can't wait to get it written.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: You and Me, forever...right?

Sam took hold of Spencer's hand as they walked through the last part of the woods and out onto the field behind their High School. He didn't even have to look at his boyfriends face to know he was blushing; he knew most people in a relationship would worry if their boyfriend blushed every time they held his hand or kissed or touched him in public...but Sam knew better, Spencer blushed because it _was_ Sam, not because he was embarrassed.

"I-It's getting late, we should hurry." Spencer said. "Your brother doesn't like you getting in after dark, does he?"

"Nope." Sam said smiling; that was really the only rule Dean made Sam stick to. "But it doesn't really matter today. I'll phone him and say I'm staying at yours." He said looking at Spencer with a grin.

Spencer stopped walking, making Sam stop with him. "And who said you could stay over at mine?" He asked with a smile and a playful look on his face.

Sam's grin widened. "Are...are you trying to be playful?"

Spencer smiled shyly. "Not working?"

"No, it was working great...well, y'know right until you asked if it was working." Sam said and laughed.

Spencer took a step forward, his body almost touching Sam's and his cheeks were bright red. "I...I like it when you laugh." He said quietly.

Sam blinked a few times; he was shocked at what Spencer had said. He smiled. "Yeah?" He leaned his face closer to his boyfriends and lightly pressed their lips together.

"Well, well...what do we have here?" A dark deep voice asked.

Sam pulled away from Spencer quickly, the new voice shocking both of the young boys. He looked at the men standing close behind Spencer; there were five of them, all tall and big build, they looked in their mid twenty's to early thirties. Sam didn't like this. Something was wrong. He grabbed Spencer's wrist and pulled him behind him, standing in front of him in a protective way. "What do you want?" He asked looking at the men, one of his hands behind him holding onto Spencer's –he could feel Spencer's other hand fisted in the back of his shirt, he was scared.

One of the men smirked at Sam. "Don' y' worry, Castiel, we ain't he'e for you."

Sam frowned deeply at the man. He didn't understand why the man had called him Castiel...then it clicked, these men were after Castiel. Well, he wouldn't tell them who he was until he found out why they were after his brother's boyfriend. "What does tha-!" He abruptly stopped when he was jerked back slightly. He spun around angrily as he realised what had happened.

"Sam!" Spencer cried as he was shoved to the floor roughly. He cried out in pain as the man's foot collided with his stomach.

"Spencer! You bastard! Stay away from him!" Sam shouted at the top of his voice. He made to run at the man, but the one who had spoken before grabbed him. He kicked and lashed out, trying to get free of his grip but another one grabbed him and helped the other keep him still. "Let go!" He shouted at the men, but his eyes never left Spencer...there were three of them...all of them were laying into him, kicking him and one even punching him in the face now and then.

Spencer screamed and as he did, blood splattered from his mouth colouring the green grass beneath him a light red. "S-S-a-a-m!" He choked out painfully. Then another blow to the face shut him up.

"Leave him alone, he's just a kid, you fucking assholes! Leave him alone!" Sam shouted, trying to fight the men's grip again. He watched as the men around Spencer stopped kicking at him and actually looked at the sixteen year old boy laid covered in blood in the fettle position. His eyes widened as one pushed Spencer onto his back and straddled his stomach.

"Hey, boss, this Dean's kinda cute covered in his own blood!" He called over to one of the men holding Sam.

"Get your filthy hands off of him! And what the hell are you calling him Dean for!" Sam screamed in anger and disgust; no one was allowed to touch Spence but him. "His name is Spencer! Get off!"

The man who had first spoken spun Sam around to face him. "He ain't Dean Winchester?" He asked, obviously angry and irritated.

Sam would have laughed at the idea of someone thinking his Spencer was actually his big brother, Dean...but he settled for scoffing at the idea instead. "No way in hell is he Dean Winchester!"

"So y' ain't Castiel Novak?"

Sam shook his head. "Nope."

The man growled in anger and before Sam realised it was coming, he punched him in the face. He hit the ground with a thud and then the man kicked him in the face and then stomach.

"Boss, wait! I thought we needed him!"

"No! They're the wrong kids!" He yelled kicking Sam again and then again. "Come on, we're leaving."

Sam could see the men from near Spencer move over to the man they called boss. "Is that such a good idea, boss? Won't they talk?"

He listened as he heard the boss speak. "What they gonna say? They don't know us."

"But they seen our faces."

"We'll be long gone, c'mon." The boss looked down at Sam with an unsettling smile. "Sorry for the trouble." They left.

As soon as Sam was sure this wasn't a trick, he stood up and shot for Spencer –ignoring the pain shooting through his stomach. "Spencer! Spencer!" He cried as he fell down beside his boyfriend. "Spence, hey Spence, can you hear me?" He said loudly as he gently lifted Spencer's head from the ground. He felt tears prickle his eyes as he felt how limp Spencer was as he pulled him close. "Come on, Spence, talk to me. I'm gonna get Dean to come get us, okay? So you talk to me."

"...K...ok...okay..." Spencer wheezed. Suddenly he coughed and a little blood spat out of his mouth as he did.

Sam was listening to the dialling tone down his cell phone, his face twisted in fear as he looked down at his bloody boyfriend. The cell phone went to the answer machine. He pushed the end button angrily and then redialled his brother's number. "Damn it Dean, answer your damn phone!" He said as tears started to roll down his cheeks. Someone answered the phone but it wasn't Dean. "Cas!"

He told Castiel that he needed him and Dean to come get them and then there was a slight rustling at their end and he could hear them talking to each other. He fumed; didn't they understand how important this was? How much Spencer needed their help? He looked down at Spencer...his eyes were closed. Wait, that was bad...wasn't it? When you had taken a blow to the head, weren't you supposed to keep your eyes open? "Spencer, hey, come on, open your eyes for me...Spence _please_!" He cried.

"_Sam?" _

"Cas, please! Hurry!" He yelled, panicking; he was so scared and worried right now. He needed to get help for Spencer. In as little detail as he could he told Castiel what had happened and then where they were. He hung up after Castiel said they were coming for them. He wrapped his arms around Spencer and huddled over him in a protective but loving way. He wouldn't let anyone else hurt him again...and right now he needed to keep him warm, it was getting cold.

Dean stopped the car furiously and shot out of it, running up the little hill where he could see a huddled figure. "Sammy! Sammy!" He shouted at the top of his voice, he didn't even try to hide his worry; he was so scared Sam was hurt, what would he do then? "Sam!" He yelled as he dropped to his knees. "S-Sammy? Are you hurt?" Now he was afraid it had taken him too long to get there, that if Sam was hurt it was because it had taken him almost half-an-hour to find them.

Sam lifted his head slowly, almost sleepily. "N...no, 'm fine. But Dean..." Fresh tears spilled from Sam's eyes. "Spence isn't...isn't awake..." He said quietly, as if saying those words out loud made it true...and that was too scary for him to admit.

"Okay, Sammy. It's okay, I'll help him." He went to pull Sam off of Spencer, but watched as Castiel gently pulled him and then helped him stand. He lifted Spencer with ease; he was tall but he was thin and light...it was like lifting a child. "C'mon, Spence, you're not gonna make Sam cry are you?" He said in a teasing tone he used at the teen often. He was hoping somehow that his words would get through to Spencer and he would wake up...he knew he didn't know Sam's boyfriend all that well, but he knew he wouldn't like to know Sam was crying over him. "Cas, put Sam in the front. You sit in back with Spencer, okay?"

"Yes." Castiel said obediently.

They made it quickly down the small hill. Castiel helped Sam into the passenger's seat –worrying that he didn't seem to be responding to anything- and then quickly climbed into the back seat just as Dean opened the door and gently and carefully passed him Spencer's practically limp body.

Dean glanced at Sam in the front seat, his younger brother was turned in his seat and his eyes were locked on Spencer. He looked back at Castiel. "Watch him okay." He said motioning down to Spencer. He pressed his lips to Castiel's cheek before rushing to the front seat and twisting the key.

* * *

Sam was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed when Dean came into the room. "Hey, Sammy." He said softly as he moved over to the bed.

"Shhh." Sam said still looking at Spencer. "He fell asleep again."

Dean nodded and leaned on the arm of the chair Castiel was sitting in. They had arrived at the hospital a few hours ago and since been put into one of the rooms Spencer had been waking up and falling asleep every so often. At first Sam had been completely freaking out, he had even started yelling at some of the nurses who had been in and out of the room...he had yelled at Dean and even snapped at Castiel. But they both let it slide –although Dean was sure Cas would have let it go anyway-, they knew he was just worried about Spencer. He stared at his little brother, wondering what was going through that head of his when he felt Castiel's head rest against his back.

"I had to watch..." Sam said suddenly, his voice quiet and hurt.

"What?" Dean asked, surprised that Sam was talking –he hadn't said a word for the past two hours.

"The guys held me and I couldn't get away to help him...I had to stand and watch them beat him." He told them, his hand absentmindedly going to Spencer's, holding it tightly. "I couldn't help him."

"Sammy...that, uh, that wasn't your fault. There was no way you could've stopped them." Dean said softly.

"But...you would have stopped them if they were beating Cas...so why couldn't I have stopped them from hurting Spence?" He said still looking at Spencer's beaten sleeping face.

Dean continued staring at his little brother, not quite sure what to do or say. Castiel stood from his seat –steadying Dean before he could fall into the chair. "Go talk to him." He whispered quietly to his boyfriend. He moved over to Sam and tilted his head to the side as Sam looked up at him. "Why do you not go get some fresh air? I will stay and watch Spencer for you."

"I shouldn't leave him-..."

"Sam, I will watch him." Castiel reassured.

"Yeah, come on Sammy. Cas will let us know when he wakes up." Dean said gently pulling Sam off of the bed. He wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulders and leading him out of the room.

* * *

"C'mon, Sam, we've been out here for ten minutes now." Dean said, looking down at his brother who was sitting on the bench seat –Dean was sat on the edge of the table.

"What am I supposed to say, Dean?" Sam asked as he stared down at the floor.

Dean stayed quiet for a short while before ruffling Sam's hair. "Did you recognise who they were?" Sam shook his head. "How many of them were there?" He watched as Sam held one hand up. He frowned. "Five?" Sam nodded. "Were they older than you?"

Sam didn't answer for a little while. "They looked in their twenties or something."

Dean's free hand clenched into a fist; there were five of them...and they were that much older than Sam and Spencer? Who the hell were those guys? "What did they look like?"

Sam shrugged. "Don't really remember. Can't we talk about this later?" He knew he should tell Dean that the men thought he and Spencer were actually him and Castiel...but then Dean would blame himself for this and he didn't want his brother to do that. He was sure he would have to tell him eventually, but not just yet.

"Sure." Dean answered simply and pulled Sam's head to rest on his knees.

* * *

"You are awake?" Castiel asked unsurely as he looked at Spencer. The young boy's eyes were opening slowly. He wasn't sure what to do, so he did something he had seen Dean do hundreds of times when Sam was upset or ill...he gently used his hand to move the hair out of Spencer's face and then gently stroke his cheek.

Spencer blinked a few times and then his eyes finally focused...then went wide. "Where's Sam?" He asked panicking slightly.

"Shush, it is okay. Sam is outside with Dean." Castiel reassured.

Spencer studied his face for a moment and then decided he was telling the truth, he nodded and sighed relieved. "Good." He smiled lightly. "Erm...why didn't you go with them?"

"I said I would wait here with you." He smiled softly.

Spencer's cheeks heated up and he smiled shyly. "Thanks."

"You are welcome." He said, his hand still on Spencer's face. "Sam was very worried; he did not want to leave your side."

Spencer smiled lightly but happily. "That sounds like Sam."

"Did you know any of the men that grabbed you or Sam?" Castiel asked bluntly.

Spencer shook his head. "I didn't really see them much...and when I did my vision was blurred. They were older than us and..." He trailed off.

"And?"

"I know Sam won't have told Dean this, because he won't want him blaming himself –err, even though I'm sure it's not his fault or anything. But...the men...they kept calling _me_ Dean, and they called Sam Castiel." Spencer said quietly; he wasn't sure he should've told Castiel, but he thought if someone was after him and Dean...well, they had a right to know.

Castiel titled his head to the side, a frown on his face. "What-?" He stopped talking when the room door opened. They both looked to see Dean and Sam walk in.

"Spencer!" Sam rushed to the bed, almost shoving Castiel off of the bed as he jumped up onto it next to Spencer. "How are you feeling?" He asked taking hold of his hand.

Spencer smiled. "I'm okay. My head hurts a little though."

Sam ran his hand over Spencer's head and cheek, smiling softly. "The Doctor said they have to keep you in over night and then you should be okay to go home tomorrow." Spencer nodded. "Oh, your Mom's in the hospital too, isn't she?" Spencer nodded again. "Well, you can stay at ours till she comes home. Can't he Dean?"

Dean nodded confused; he had no idea why Spencer's Mother would be in the hospital. "Sure, I guess...but you have to sleep in separate rooms." He grinned.

"What! You and Cas don't sleep in separate rooms." Sam whined.

"That's because we're older." Dean teased as he and Castiel moved to sit in the chairs next to the bed.

* * *

"Sammy, you sure you want to stay here overnight?" Dean asked. He looked through the glass window, over at Spencer laid in the bed with Castiel sat close to him...they were sat talking and laughing.

"Of course I wanna stay. I'm not leaving Spencer on his own." Sam said defensively. He looked through the window at Spencer. "I won't leave him on his own."

Dean looked at Sam. "Sammy you...you love him don't you?"

Sam's face turned bright red; he wasn't expecting such a question from Dean. He looked at his brother from the corner of his eye, almost suspicious of Dean. "So?"

"So, nothin'. Just you two haven't been going out that long..."

"What, so to be able to love him I have to be his friend for almost sixteen years without telling him how I feel? Why does that sound familiar?" Sam teased.

"Shut up, man." Dean said smacking Sam's head playfully. "Well, just wanted to check I guess. Go tell Cas we're leaving, and I'll come pick you both up tomorrow."

Sam nodded and smiled at Dean before rushing into the room. Dean watched Sam talk to both Cas and Spencer for a moment before pointing towards the door; Cas Stood from the bed and waved back at Spencer before leaving the room.

* * *

Dean climbed into the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition...and then just sat there.

Castiel looked at his boyfriend with his head tilted. He watched Dean just stare out of the window blankly. "Dean?"

"You know I love you, right?" Dean asked, suddenly turning in his seat to face Cas.

Castiel kept his head tilted as he nodded. "Yes, I know that." He scooted closer to Dean on the bench seat and leaned his face closer. "Are you alright?"

"And you know I'd do anything for you, right?" Dean asked, ignoring Castiel's question.

"Yes, Dean, I know. Will you please tell me what is wrong?"

Dean cupped Castiel's face with his hands and pulled him forward, resting their foreheads together. "Nothing's wrong. I just...You're my best friend, I do anything to keep you with me..."

"Dean I am not going anywhere. I am staying right here with you." Castiel took hold of one of Dean's hands, holding it tightly. "I am staying right here, right where I want to be."

Dean stared into Cas' deep intense blue eyes and smiled. "Good, 'cause I ain't letting you leave me. _Not ever_. So, there's no point you even tryin'." He closed the gap between them and kissed Castiel. Their mouths quickly opened against each other's and their tongues met and rubbed against the other. Dean gripped tightly at Cas' hips as his arms wrapped around his neck.

A short while later they pulled apart from each other, both of them were panting lightly.

Dean stroked Cas' cheek affectionately before turning the key and driving out of the hospital parking lot. He held tight to Castiel who was pressed against his side under his arm. "Hey, Cas...when we get home I'm going to make love to you so hard, you ain't gonna be able to walk for a week!"

Castiel's face flushed bright red; it wasn't so much as what Dean had said, but the words he had used...he never said _make love_, he usually used words like _fuck_, _screw_ or _shag_. He gripped tightly at Dean's shirt and kept his gaze out of the window while his cheeks burned a darker shade of red. "That...would be good."

Dean grinned and kissed the top of his boyfriend's head. There's was long comfortable silence until Dean spoke. "Hey, do you want something to eat before we go to mine?"

Castiel straightened up next to Dean, his hand still holding his blond boyfriend's shirt. "Can we get Chinese?"

Dean smiled widely and chuckled. "Don't we always get Chinese?"

"Yes...but I like Chinese best."

"And that's why we always get Chinese." Dean told him.

Castiel smiled and leaned up to kiss Dean's cheek. He pulled away and frowned when he saw Dean's worried look. "What is wrong?"

"The...the breaks..." Dean started.

Castiel looked out of the window, they were getting close to the lights...and it was red. He looked back at Dean and could see his foot pressing the break peddle, but it was going straight down to the floor of the car. "Dean?"

"Cas, hold on. The breaks ain't working." Dean said loudly.

Castiel shuffled over to the other seat and pulled the belt on. He gripped the seat tightly as he saw the night traffic rushing down the road...the lane they had just had no choice but to go on. All Castiel could hear at that moment were the horns of numerous cars beeping as they tried to dodge them. Dean managed to dodge more than a few cars, but one clipped the back of the Impala and the car swerved, flying into another busy lane.

"Dean!" Castiel yelled as he saw a truck driving towards them, beeping its horn.

"Hold on!" Dean twisted the wheel, but he wasn't fast enough...the truck hit the side of the car, sending them into a number of other cars. Everything became a blur. A minute or so later Dean's eyes opened and he tried to look around...there was so much noise, car horns, shouts and screams, and metal crunching against metal as people tried to move away from the crashed cars and the truck. He had a feeling that he was forgetting something. He twisted his head to the right, wincing as a sharp pain shot down his neck. His eyes widened. Cas. His boyfriend was in the passenger's seat, his head resting against the back of the bench seat, the car door was bent inwards against his legs, the widow was completely shattered and...there was blood everywhere. "C-Cas?" He ripped his seat belt off and moved over to Castiel –careful so he didn't cause anymore damage to Cas or something that could harm them.

He saw Castiel's eyes blink open slowly, so slowly it seemed painful. "D...De...l...yo...lo...y...Dea..." Castiel's voice came out in nothing more than whimpers.

"Cas, shh, s'okay, don't speak, I'll get help." Dean said quietly, tears in his eyes and what was supposed to be a reassuring smile...but it was filled with worry and panic. He started to shuffle backwards, but stopped when he felt something on his hand. He looked down; Castiel's blooded hand was laid on his, he was trying to hold Dean's hand but it was too weak to do so. He took hold of Castiel's hand. "Okay, I won't leave you. But I need to shout for help, okay." Dean started to yell for help as loud as he could, but he looked back at Cas for a moment and stopped...Cas was smiling lightly, lovingly and almost reassuringly. Dean knew what that look was for. "No! Don't you dare! You said you wouldn't leave me! Cas, please, please. Castiel, listen to me, _please_!"

Castiel's eyes started to shut slowly.

"Cas! Someone help! Help! Someone help!" Dean screamed at the top of his voice, he wouldn't let Cas die, he wouldn't. He couldn't.

* * *

End of chapter 2!

Thanks for reading! I know the whole crash part wasn't brilliant, but hope it wasn't too bad.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: A Week and a Half Later.

Dean was laid on his back on his –what now felt like- too big bed. It was a double...double beds were for two people, not one. He was staring at the ceiling with a blank expression as he had been for the past week. The past week...the past week had been hell. He hadn't been eating or drinking or sleeping or even bathing but of course, that wasn't what had been hell. He had lost Castiel. He had lost _his_ Cas.

He couldn't close his eyes...every time he did all he could see was Cas' bloody face as he smiled at him. That had been Cas' way of saying good-bye. That's why he had yelled at him, he knew he wasn't going to keep fighting...he knew he was giving up.

Dean's breathing deepened suddenly. He had to stop. He had to stop thinking about Castiel, if he didn't all he would do was cry...and he couldn't do that. Not now. Hell, he hadn't even cried at his boyfriend's funeral. He had gotten mad, but he hadn't cried. There had only been a handful of people who had gone to Cas' funeral, most of them had been people he had known from school and three or four distant relatives...the rest was him, Sam and Spencer.

When everyone was leaving he had gotten dirty looks and nasty comments about how he wasn't even crying for someone he supposedly loved. _Supposedly_. He had lost it. He punched the man –one of Cas' distant relatives- in the face and started yelling and screaming at him, saying that he knew more about Castiel than he ever did...that he loved him more than anything...he had known him for sixteen years and not once had he seen him (the relative), that was when he punched him again, screaming that he had no right to be here...that non of them did, they didn't even really know Cas. That was when Sam had pulled him away from the relative and made him sit down and Spencer had nicely -but with an undertone that was a demand- asked that everyone leave now...and he thanked them for coming.

It still upset him, thinking about that day at the funeral. How could anyone think he didn't care about Castiel? Apart from Sam, he was Dean's whole world, had been since they were two years old. But...if the people at the funeral thought he didn't care...then is that what Cas had thought? Had he thought Dean didn't care about him?

He felt crying...and for the first time since he had had to bury Castiel, he really, really wanted to. But he wouldn't. He didn't move or look over to the door as he heard it open.

"Dean?" Sam's voice was small and tentative...it was careful.

He could smell the food on the plate Sam was holding; burger and fries...just like everyday. His little brother always brought him food, everyday...he didn't know why, at most he only picked at it.

"I brought you something to eat." Sam said setting the plate down on the bedside table. He sat down at the edge of the bed. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, he leaned over Dean; his hands at each side of his brother's head and his face close to his. "Hey..."

Dean looked at his brother's face hovering above his –his expression still blank- and just stared, not answering...that was something else he hadn't done since the funeral: talked. Sam looked in pretty bad shape too, his face was pale and he looked tired...really tired. He looked over to the window, avoiding Sam's gaze; he didn't want to look at Sam right now, he was his big brother, he was supposed to be taking care of him...not staring at the ceiling 24/7.

"Dean, please talk to me." Sam said; his voice soft and pleading.

He didn't say anything; he just kept his eyes on the black curtains covering the window.

Sam sighed and moved from over Dean to sit back on the edge of the bed. He ran his hand through his hair and then gripped at it tightly. "You know, I can't believe you." He let his hand fall from his hair. "I know you're grieving...and I know you loved him a lot, so you have every right to be this upset...but do you really think Cas would want you to treat yourself this way?" He turned his head to look down at Dean's face, who was still looking away. "Do you really think he would want you to not eat? Sleep? Or even take a bath? -You fucking stink!- Is this what Cas would want for you?" He asked calmly, never once raising his voice.

Dean turned his head to look up at his younger brother's face...Sam's face was so full of emotion right now, but what he could see the most was how hurt and upset his younger brother was.

"You're still not speaking?" Sam stood from the bed abruptly, looking down at Dean with tears in his eyes. "Castiel would be so pissed at you! He would literally force you to eat, so why won't you just eat?" He ran his hand over his eyes. "Why won't you do what Cas would want?"

Dean stared at Sam. "Get out." His voice was rough, croaky –from lack of use- and quiet.

"W-what?"

"Get out, Sam."

"Fine!" Sam stormed over to the bedroom door and as he opened it he spoke. "Don't do what Castiel would have wanted...but just so you know, he's probably watching you from up there...and he'll be mad at you." Sam slammed the door behind him.

'_Why should I look after myself...when I couldn't save him?' _

* * *

Sam went into the kitchen, tears streaming down his face. He was so worried about Dean...his brother was so pale he looked a sort of greyish colour, and he hadn't been eating, drinking or sleeping–he wonder if people lost colour so quickly when they didn't do those things or if it was because of all the emotional stress and pain Dean was going through-. If this continued Dean was going to become very ill, very quick...if it didn't just kill him.

He held tight to the work surface as he shut his eyes and bit his bottom lip to stop from crying; he could still hear Dean's screams as they told him there was nothing they could do for Castiel. He had been talking to Spencer in front of a vending machine ready to leave for home when they had seen several beds with unconscious or crying people on them been pulled down the long corridor by doctors and nurses into different rooms or operating rooms. Then he heard it: _"What do you mean you aren't going to try!"_ It had been Dean's voice from down the hall. Sam had run to him, asking what's wrong but he just kept yelling at the doctor. _"You have to try! You have to!" _

All the doctor said was, _"I'm sorry, but Mr. Novak is already dead. He'd died before our ambulance got to him. I'm sorry for your loss." _And then he left. Dean had yelled and screamed at the doctor to get back here, but he had just gone somewhere else. He had had to grab Dean and ask over and over again what was going on. He could remember it so clearly...Spencer came over to them –after waiting in the background-, Dean fell to his knees crying and shouting, and then told them Cas was dead.

Sam was shook out of his horrible memory as he heard the front door shutting. It was Spencer; he had given his boyfriend a key to the house a day or so after the funeral.

"Sam?" Spencer asked as he came into the kitchen. Sam turned to look at him and tried to smile. Spencer's eyes widened as he saw his boyfriend's tear streaked face. "What's wrong?" He asked as he rushed over to Sam, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him close.

Sam clung to the slightly shorter frame of his boyfriend and just stood there, taking in his scent; he couldn't blame Dean for how he was acting...if it had been Spencer, he would be exactly the same way...even though he hadn't known Spence as long as the two older boys had.

* * *

Sam was sat with his back against the arm of the chair and Spencer laid in-between his legs with his back against his chest. He had one arm around Spencer's stomach and the other buried in his hair. "He's really...if he keeps this up, he's going to get ill." He told Spencer.

Spencer turned his head so he could see Sam's face. "All I can suggest is to look after him...and just try to talk him around to been himself again."

"I know." He said and tightened his arm around Spencer, pulling him closer into his body. "I just...I guess I get it, really." He buried his head in Spencer's hair. "I couldn't lose you."

Spencer smiled softly, not knowing what to say. He kissed at Sam's neck, not able to reach any higher. "Do...you want me to try and talk to him?"

"What?"

"I could try to talk to him, tell him how worried you are...a-and stuff." Spencer said quietly.

"No...no, it's okay."

Spencer sat up and twisted himself around so he was kneeling in-between Sam's legs. "But Sam, I could-!"

"I said no, Spencer!" Sam snapped; he should have been able to bring Dean around to at least eat something, Spencer shouldn't have to try...Dean isn't his brother.

Spencer ducked his head. "O-okay."

"Sorry." Sam mumbled. "I just...I'm worried about Dean. I've never seen him like this, ever. I just...I really don't know what to do."

Spencer wrapped his arms around Sam's neck and just held him, he didn't know what to say or to do, so he hoped just holding him was okay for now. He figured it was when he felt Sam's arms wrap around his waist and pull him close.

They fell asleep.

It was a few hours later before either of them woke up. "Spence..." Sam said quietly, his voice thick and heavy with sleep. He moved his hand to Spencer's shoulder, shaking it lightly to wake him as he cleared his throat. "Spence...c'mon, wake up." He said moving Spencer's longish hair out of his face, which was partially buried in his chest.

"Hmmm..." Spencer mumbled and rubbed his face against Sam's chest unconsciously.

Sam smiled contently as he rubbed his boyfriend's back. "Spencer, babe, come on, we can't sleep on the couch." He took hold of Spencer's wrist and looked at his watch; it was 10:30. He chuckled lightly; Spencer had come over around 5:30 and they were on the sofa for 6:00...they had slept quite a while.

"Hmmm?" Spencer mumbled this time, the new tone showing that he was actually responding to Sam. He blinked his eyes slowly a few times before opening them fully, he stayed laid on Sam for a few minutes, his hands opening and closing as he gripped at Sam's shirt, before he sat up in-between Sam's legs. He stared at Sam, tiredness obvious in his face.

"You awake now?" Sam asked as he looked at his boyfriend with an amused grin; he knew how hard it was for Spencer to wake up properly if he hadn't had at least eight hours of sleep. He ran his fingertips over Spencer's cheek, once again thinking about how he would feel if he lost him. He watched his boyfriend move further into his touch...Spencer was always so responsive, even when it was just an innocent touch. Of course he was much more responsive when it _wasn't_ an innocent touch.

"W-what time is it?" Spencer asked slowly.

"Ten-thirty. You staying over?" Sam asked as his hand made its way into his boyfriend's brown curly hair.

Spencer nodded slowly. "If that's alright?"

Sam smiled softly. "Course it is." He moved his hand around to the back of Spencer's head and pulled him forward, crashing their lips together. He had slid his free hand up Spencer's shirt before he had started to respond to the kiss. He smiled against Spencer's lips as they opened up for his tongue...and his boyfriend's tall skinny body pressed against his. He felt Spencer's moan as their groin's rubbed together.

"Sam..." Spencer panted. "I, erm, I've...b-been thinking about s-something."

Sam's hand was stroking at Spencer's head as he spoke. "When aren't you thinking, huh?" He laughed. He pulled Spencer back down to him, but Spencer pushed on his chest, making it so Sam couldn't pull him completely down onto him. "What?"

"I...I'm not sure...doing this kind of stuff...is, err, right." Spencer watched as Sam's eyes narrowed in worry, confusion and anger.

"What do you mean it's not right!" Sam snapped.

"What I mean is...just, like in the house. It's not really right...to, err, be doing this when...when Dean just l-lost Castiel. I-It's not...really fair." Spencer said, his eyes avoiding Sam the whole time. "I just mean...I don't know, it just seems unfair and it could really upset him. And I know you wouldn't like that..."

Sam's face softened; he had thought Spencer meant them been together was wrong, he was getting ready to argue that they were perfect for each other and things like that...but Spencer was just thinking of Dean _and _his feelings. He leaned up and kissed Spencer's forehead –surprising his boyfriend and making him look back at him. "Thank-you." He smiled softly. "But...I don't think something like that would bother Dean. He's stronger than to be jealous or get upset by something someone else has. So don't think about it too much." He pressed a finger to Spence's lips, when he opened his mouth –to protest to what he had said, Sam was sure. "But, if it makes you feel better...we won't do it in front of him."

"Sam, we never do _it_ in front of your brother."

Sam stared at Spencer a moment before laughing. "You know what I meant. We won't kiss or anything in front of him."

Spencer nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Dean slid down to the floor and curled in on himself; his legs pulled against his chest, his head on his knees and his arms around his legs. He had heard everything. He had gotten out of bed, realising Sam was right and Cas would be upset at him for been so depressed...so he had decided to apologise to Sam for the way he had spoke to him and how he had been acting for the past week. But...as he opened his bedroom door, he had heard Sam and Spencer talking. So he had just stood there listening to them.

He had been such a jerk.

Yeah, he had lost the love of his life but he should have been talking to Sam, should have been looking after him, should have told him how he was feeling –even if he wasn't comfortable with it. He knew what he had to do, knew where he had to go.

He waited till he heard Sam and Spencer go to his room and then waited half-an-hour before getting changed into a plain t-shirt and jeans. He quietly washed his face and had a shave in the bathroom –he didn't want to go _there _looking like he did- before going to the apartment's front door. He quickly shoved his feet into his shoes and then left the apartment, closing and locking the door behind him.

Dean stood in front of the headstone; it had a space at the bottom with writing on...and above that was an Angel. He had chosen it. He didn't believe in Angels, had no reason to...but he had once overheard Cas talking to Sam about them, saying that he believed in them. So he knew Cas would have liked it. He looked at the writing on the stone:

_Castiel Novak_

_Beloved boyfriend and friend_

He shook his head; that was nothing...there had been so much more he wanted to put on the stone, but at the time that was all he could think of. Cas had been so much more...but he couldn't even explain it. He stared at the stone for a few more minutes, thinking over everything...everything he had done with Cas, everything he hadn't done that they should have, everything he should have said.

Before he realised it, he was crying. He was crying for the first time since the hospital. He sank down onto his knees, his face bent downwards as he stared at the ground through blurry tear filled eyes. "I'm sorry." He said quietly. He looked up at the gravestone, the tears streaming down his face. "I need you, Cas. What am I supposed to do! I haven't spent a day without you in sixteen goddamn years! What am I supposed to do without you?" He cried loudly at the Angel stone. "I need you. I love you. I don't know what to do. I really, really don't know what to do...not without you. I need you more than anything." He let his head fall forward and then he felt arms wrap around his shoulders and for an instant, he thought it was Castiel, but quickly realised it was Sam.

"Dean, what're you doing? I was so worried." Sam said into his neck. "I thought...I thought you had left to...to do something stupid." He held his brother tighter. "Please...please don't scare me like that!"

"Sammy...what do I do? What am I supposed to do?" Dean asked, turning his head to look at his baby brother.

"I don't know." Sam answered truthfully –it was then that Dean noticed Sam was crying too. "I don't know what to do...I know you miss him, I do too...but we're gonna help, okay?" He said and looked over his shoulder quickly before turning back to Dean –that was when he realised Spencer was there, standing close by, a sad expression on his face.

"I need him back, Sam."

"I know you do, and I'm sor-!" Sam started but stopped.

There was a bright white flash of light and everybody shut their eyes quickly. When Dean opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was that Sam and Spencer weren't there...and the second thing he noticed was the all-too-familiar beige trench coat and the familiar dark hair and the familiar intense too blue eyes.

"Cas?"

* * *

End of chapter 3!

Thanks for reading and reviewing and stuff!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Watching From Above.

Castiel woke up and his head felt like it was exploding. He opened his eyes, and then shut them quicker than he had ever done before. It was...so bright. His eyes had only been open for at least three seconds...but it was so bright it felt as if he kept them open any longer, his eyes would burn and melt. He was scared; what was that light? Where was he? Where was Dean? And why weren't they together?

"Why, hello there."

He jumped in surprise. The voice was light, happy and had a slight accent...English? He wasn't sure, and he couldn't say he really cared. He wanted to know where he was, where Dean was. Without even realising he had done it, he asked for the one he wanted the most right now –the one he always wanted. "Dean?"

"Sorry, what was that?" The voice asked nicely.

"Dean?" Castiel asked again...and again, he hadn't realised he'd done it.

"You...you remember your love?"

"W-what are you talking about? O-of course I remember Dean...who are you?" He asked quietly, panicked; he didn't think this man intended to do him harm...his voice was too sweet, too soft...but he couldn't be sure.

"That's good...but y' shouldn't remember him."

He frowned; his eyes still shut tight. "Who are you? What do you mean I should not remember him? Why would I not remember my own boyfriend?" He asked with a slight tinge of anger in his tone; who did this guy think he was to say he shouldn't remember Dean?

"Because...you're dead." The voice sounded sad, apologetic. "You shouldn't remember nothin'."

Castiel's eyes shot open, acknowledging but ignoring the bright light from before –it wasn't as bright anymore. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust and when they did, he was greeted by a sympathetic look from a small beautiful face. He looked at the man...no, the boy, the person in front of him was no older than fifteen. He had long messy blond hair that went to his waist and he was tall even though he was bent forward, leaning over Castiel. "W-what did you just say?"

The boy stood up straight and sighed. "You. Are. Dead." He fell down to the floor onto his bum –and Castiel frowned confusedly; how could that not have hurt even a little? The boy was tall and the ground was hard, just falling down like that would surely have hurt. "Why else would y' be here?"

He pushed himself up and stared at the boy. "Where am I?"

"This, my friend..." The boy said, spreading his long skinny arms out wide. "Is limbo."

Castiel frowned. "You are...joking."

The boy laughed and shook his head. "I can't believe you. Y' actually remember your love...but y' don't remember how you died! Dude, that is totally unbelievable." He shifted onto his knees and crawled closer to Castiel, stretching his arm out in front of him and gently pressing his palm to cas' head. "Stay still."

Castiel stared at the boy...and then his eyes widened in pain as a bright light flashed in front of him and then a blur of images, voices and sounds came through that light, flashing right in front of his eyes.

"_You said you wouldn't leave me! Cas, please, please."_

His eyes widened even further and he fell backwards, landing on the cold hard floor on his back. He could feel the tears running down his cheeks, but he couldn't lift his hands to wipe them away...he just couldn't find the strength to do it.

"Hey...was it really that bad? How did y' die?" The boy asked as he leaned over Castiel, his face hovering above his. He used one of his hands and gently wiped the tears from Cas' face.

"You...you did not see that?" Castiel asked looking up at the boy with fresh tears in his eyes and his voice low and quiet.

The boy smiled down at him. "Nope. I can only see what y' want me to...or I can drag your memories out so I can see them...but I won't." He sat back –his legs tucked under his bum- and stared at Castiel with a curious look.

After a little while, Castiel sat up and stared down at the white floor. "I...we were in a crash...it was more of a small pile up, actually. There was something wrong with the breaks...and the truck crashed into my side of the car...I could feel..." He paused to take a deep breath. "I could feel my insides collapsing and slowing down...I smiled at him, to say goodbye." He looked at the boy, tears rolling down his cheeks and he realised how uncharacteristically he was been right now, but he couldn't stop the tears. "How could I have just given up like that? After I promised him I would never leave him after his parents had died."

"Hey, calm down." The boy said and took hold of Castiel's face, his thumbs wiping at his tears. "Listen...you're here –in limbo- because y' have something you need to do. So, why don't we start by getting to know each other." He smiled softly. "My name is Kyle. I'm twenty-five years old, but I died when I was fifteen, so that's why I still look that old, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders.

Castiel stared at him, not knowing what to say...and realising he was right about the boys age, or...at least how old he appeared.

"Oh, you want to know how I died? Is that it?" Kyle asked, leaning forward.

Castiel shook his head. "No. That is alright, I do not want to know."

"Oh." Kyle said quietly...and Castiel couldn't help but notice he sounded slightly sad and disappointed about his answer. "Right, well...like I said before, you're stuck here until y' decided to move on or until you figure out why you're stuck here and then you sort it out." He stood up and patted at his behind, ridding himself of some invisible dirt.

For some reason, that was when Castiel noticed they were both wearing the same cloths; some sort of white clothe material with long sleeves and a sort of brown rope tied around their middle. He ignored what they were wearing, he didn't care –even if he felt strange in it- he looked up at Kyle. "I do not understand."

"There's something in your human life that is keeping you here...y' can choose to ignore it, or you can find out what it is and sort it out." Kyle leaned forward –it seemed a habit of his, Castiel noticed- and gave the dark haired man in front of him a serious smile. "So, what'll it be?"

Castiel stared up at Kyle, his brain slowly registering what was going on; he was in limbo...waiting to go to heaven or maybe hell. He was in limbo because there was something wrong with the way his human live was...and he had to sort it out before he could move on. But how was he supposed to do that? "I will find out what was wrong." He didn't care how...he would find out.

Kyle smiled. "Good. I'll show you how to watch your memories."

Castiel titled his head to the side in confusion. "Watch...my memories?"

"Yup. How else are y' going to find out what the reason is for y' been here?" Kyle smiled.

Castiel kept his head to the side as he nodded. "Alright. Please show me...how to watch my memories."

Kyle smiled. "Come here..." He said and held his hand out for Cas. "And, what's your name?"

Castiel stared at the hand in front of him and then hesitantly took it –he didn't like the idea of holding any other's hand but Dean's. "Castiel."

* * *

Castiel was sitting in the whiteness...that's all it was there, _white_, that was unless he was looking at his memories. Then he could watch his memories like he was sat watching TV. He liked been able to see his past...even if it was only because he was dead.

Kyle had shown him how to watch his memories a few hours ago –or he guessed; the time was different where he was...it didn't really matter, didn't really exist. He was surprised at how easy it was to be able to project his memories from his mind...he had done it perfectly on his seconds try, Kyle had told him he was a natural at it, which hadn't made him happy like it should have done...all he could think was that he was a natural at been dead? That wasn't exactly something he could be proud of.

The first memory Castiel had watched was the first time he had met Dean; he hadn't even realised he remembered that...or that he was thinking about it. He had watched his three year old self walk across street holding his Mother's hand...the image was so clear, he couldn't believe that an nineteen year old –himself especially- could remember something so clearly from when he was three. Kyle had then explained that it was because he had projected the memory, and no matter how fuzzy the memory was to him...it would be cleared to how it was when he had lived it.

They had both sat and watched the rest of the memory play out in front of them; his Mother had taken him to the house opposite theirs and around to the back garden where there was a party going on. Castiel had stayed off to the side, away from the other kids and the adults...that was until a blond haired boy came over to him.

"_Who're you?" _

"He's the one you love." Kyle had said, it wasn't a question and it wasn't a guess...he had just known. Castiel had nodded and then watched as the three year old him stared at the blond boy before looking away from him and answering. _"Castiel." _

"_Cas_teel_? Whut kinda name's that?" _The three year old Dean asked.

Castiel smiled; it had taken _ages _to get Dean to be able to pronounce his name correctly. _"Cas_tiel_, not Cas_teel_." _

"_Whut're you, an' alien?"_

"_What are you, stupid?" _

They stared frowning at each other for a moment before the little Dean grabbed Castiel's hand and dragged him away from his corner. _"Come play wi' me, Cas. Hey, yo' wanna see my baby broder?"_

After the memory played on for a little while Kyle had spoke up, "Show me when you guys got together?"

Castiel had kept his gaze on the memory that was playing, his cheeks heating up. "I cannot. That is a moment that only me and Dean can share."

Kyle had pouted and stood up, looking down at Castiel. "Stingy. Well, I'll be back in a little while." Then he disappeared.

Since Kyle had gone, he had been looking through various memories; his first time staying over at Dean's house when he was five years old –they had made a huge mess in the bathroom while they were in the tub together-, helping Dean teach Sam how to ride his bike when they were nine –they weren't very good teachers, Sam had eventually told them both to go away so he could do it himself-, meeting up with Dean on his first day of high school –because he had waited for Dean, they were late-, watching Dean on the high school football team practicing for a big game –Dean had been yelled at several time for talking to Cas instead of listening to his coach-, their graduation –it had gone by quickly and uneventfully-, the night of their graduation –spent in a hotel with just the two of them, alone, naked, on a single bed...

He sat there, no memory playing and realised...everything he had ever done that meant something to him, included Dean. He wanted to see him so badly...and not just his memories of him. He wanted to be able to hold him and tell the blond how much he meant to him.

In order to stop himself from crying he picked another memory...the first time he had spent the night with Dean –when they were a couple. Logically watching a memory with Dean would make him cry...but it had been such a strange, funny and complicated night...he knew it would make him smile, not cry.

The image flashed in front of him...and his eyes narrowed in fear and frustration; this wasn't his first night with Dean. No, it was something he didn't want to remember, something he had blocked out from his memory years ago. As much as he didn't want to watch it, he couldn't look away from what was playing out in front of him.

_A seventeen year old Castiel was sitting in the back of his parents' car; he was arguing with them. "I have no idea where this is coming from. I am telling you, Dean and I are just _friends_. We have been for years...and if you remember, Mother, you were the one who took me to meet him in the first place." _

"_That has nothing to do with it, Castiel. Your Father and I don't want you playing with that Winchester boy anymore...and stay away from his brother too." His Mother said in that, what-I-says-goes! Kind of tone she had most of the time. He hated that tone more than anything else. _

"_That is not fair! He is my best friend...why should I stay away from him, when neither of us have done anything wrong!" He was starting to get mad now. They were telling him he couldn't spend time with Dean because they assumed the two of them were more than friends...which was ridiculous, Dean wouldn't look at him twice. _

"_We have told you-..." His Mother started, but was interrupted by his Father. _

"_No son of ours is going be partaking in homosexual activities." His Father scolded. _

_Castiel's eyes narrowed in anger. "Do not be so homophobic, it is horrible. And I am not gay, I am not _with_ my best friend, and I do not understand why you are thinking like this!" _

_Both of his parents sighed –his Father more angrily than his Mother. "Mary told me something this morning." _

_Castiel's eyes widened; was Dean hurt? No, if that was the case they wouldn't be telling him to stay away from the eldest Winchester son...he knew this made sense, but he still had to ask. "What? Is there something wrong? Are they all okay? Is Dean okay?" _

_After a short silence, his Mother looked at him through the rear-view mirror. "She told me..." She trailed off. _

"_And she was actually smiling, while she said it." His Father practically snarled. _

_His Mother ignored him and continued what she had been saying, her voice stronger and filled with something that Castiel could only describe as disgust. "She told me she had heard Dean talking to his brother, saying he was in love with you." _

_Castiel's eyes widened; no...way. Dean loved him? And it was as more than a friend. So...his feelings would be returned if he confessed them to Dean. Before he could control his voice, he spoke, his voice betraying him and showing how happy he actually felt. "Really? She said Dean actually said he loved me?" His eyes widened further, this time in alarm; in that one sentence...he had shown his parents how he really felt for his friend. _

_His Mother looked at him and his Father's head spun around to look at him with disgust and anger clear on his face. _

Castiel watched closely. He hadn't known his Mother had told him what Mary had told her...after what happened next, he had forgotten the whole conversation, he had only remembered that he had been arguing with his parents the day they died. He watched even more closely now, he had never really registered what had happened.

_As his Father had turned to look at him, his hands had also turned the car's steering wheel...making the car glide from their lane into the one with the oncoming traffic, their car quickly collided with another...causing both cars to swerve of the road and crash into one of the buildings next to it. _

Castiel watched as an ambulance came, took him and his parents –and the man from the other car- to the closest hospital...and then Dean and Sam come to visit him the next day, Sam was crying his little eyes out and Castiel was too worried about the brothers to realise he had forgotten what he had been arguing about with his parents, and that he hadn't cried for them once...they had both died in theatre, the car front had been pushed back from the crash against the wall and had crushed them both.

"_What is wrong, Sam? You are not crying because I am in here, are you?" _

_Dean smiled; it was small, hardly there...and it made Castiel worry, Dean's smiles were usually so bright and wide. "No, he did that earlier." He said, trying to lighten his mood...but failed and let his eyes tear up. _

"_Dean, what is wrong?" Castiel asked; his voice and his whole body tense with worry. _

"_It's...it's our Mom and Dad, Cas. They were in an accident too, yesterday." Dean explained quickly but quietly. _

"_They died!" Sam cried as he threw himself at Castiel, his long arms winding around his neck. Castiel hugged Sam tightly and looked at Dean –whose tears had fallen down his face- and didn't know what to say, he had no idea what he could say to make his friend feel better. A little while later, Sam had climbed onto his lap and cried himself to sleep. Dean stood from his chair at the side of the bed and sat on the bed next to his best friend. He didn't say anything; he just leaned against Castiel and stared at a spot on the opposite wall. _

"_Dean? You should probably get some sleep." He said quietly, his hand gently holding Dean's forearm. _

"_They left us, Cas. How am I supposed to take care of Sammy properly?" Dean asked, turning his head to look at Cas. _

"_You look after him perfectly well...and I will be here to help." _

"_Cas, you're injuries aren't bad, right?" Dean asked, his eyes tearing up again. _

_Castiel knew exactly what Dean was really asking. "Dean, I _promise_ I will never leave you." Dean smiled softly and took hold of Castiel's hand. _

"_Good."_

"Ah, so that's what you were talking about earlier."

Castiel spun around to where the voice had come from –the memory fading away as he turned. "How long have you been there?"

"Me? Since he climbed on the bed...yeah, about then." Kyle told him.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had something to do."

"I did. I had to help somebody else get up there." Kyle said pointing upwards to more whiteness...but Castiel knew what he meant. That was Kyle's job, to help people get out of limbo and to where they were supposed to be. "And I've done that, so I came back to help you."

"You have helped someone already?" He asked; Kyle hadn't been gone that long, not really.

"Yup...most of 'em don't remember anything from their human life. So...y' want to find out how you can watch something that you haven't already been through?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we can't find out why you're still here just from your memories alone, we'll need to see through other people's –your Dean's specifically- and I can help y' watch what is going on down there now and what happened before your death." Kyle explained and sat down next to Castiel. "Y' do still want to know why you're here right? Or did you decided to stay here with me?" Kyle smiled; his smile was wide, playful...and brilliant. It suited him, smiling.

Castiel shook his head. "I need to make sure Dean is safe...that he is not going to be harmed."

Kyle frowned, smile gone. "Why would you think he's in danger?"

"I do not know. I just have a feeling."

Kyle nodded. "I understand; I could tell when my best friend was in trouble too." He smiled.

Castiel smiled back at him slightly. "What are you?" He asked bluntly.

Kyle raised an eyebrow at him and then chuckled. "You're not very good at been subtle, are y'?"

"Dean says that I am not...but why beat around the bush, when I know what I want to ask you?"

"True." Kyle smiled and then stood up, staring up at the whiteness above them. "I am what you are...not quite human, not quite an Angel. We're what is in-between." He looked down at Castiel –who was staring at him with his head titled to the side. "We're just here. We have the powers of an Angel at half its strength...but we still have human emotions and feelings."

"Once we pass on, we will not have emotions?"

"_You_ will...I think y' care too much for your love to not have them, but you can choose to forget if that's what you want." Kyle told him.

"Then why are you still here?" Castiel asked, his head tilting to the other side.

"Me, I'm stuck here. Can't move on, not me." Kyle said his head tilting backwards to look up at the whiteness again.

Castiel got the feeling he shouldn't, but he couldn't help but ask. "Why not? Everyone else can, can't they? You help them."

Kyle looked at him from the corner of his eyes. "Yup, I do. But...I decided to stay here a long time ago."

Again, he couldn't help himself. "Why?"

Kyle looked down at Castiel properly. "How about I tell y' once I've shown you how to watch the present and past of others?"

Castiel nodded. "Okay." He stood up.

"Now, tell me...have you had sex with your love?"

Castiel's cheeks burned bright red immediately. "What does that have to do with any of this?"

"If you've had sex with the one you want to watch, it means your connection is deeper than that of a friend or someone y' barely know...it will make it easier to see them, although you were pretty good at seeing your own memories so..." Kyle trailed off into thought and shook his head. "So, have y' had sex with your love?"

He looked away, his face bright red still. "Yes." He answered quietly.

"How many times?"

His head whirled around to look at Kyle. "Do you really need to know _that_?"

"Yup."

"I do not count..."

"Once? More than once? A few times? More than a few?"

"More than a few."

Kyle nodded. "Okay, I didn't actually need to know that, I was just curious." He grinned.

Castiel glared at him half-heartedly; he couldn't believe Kyle had asked that when he didn't need to know it...but he wasn't really angry, he liked Kyle.

* * *

End of Chapter 4!

Thanks for reading and faving and thanks to laffertyluver23 for reviewing every chapter so far :D


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Coming Back To You.

"I seriously can't believe you..." Kyle said; a look of annoyed disappointment on his small pretty face.

Castiel turned to look at the blond boy standing a ways behind him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're a natural at this too..." Kyle said in a sulky tone.

"That is bad?"

"Yes, Castiel, that is very bad!" Kyle sank down to sit on the floor, his arms crossed and his legs under his bum.

Castiel walked over to the blond and looked down at him with his head tilted to the side. He didn't understand...Kyle had been in a happy and excited mood since he started to show Cas how to see what was happening down on earth now and before he had died. But since Castiel had got the hang of it a little while ago, he had changed, his happy mood had vanished. "Why is that bad?"

"Because, Castiel, Y' can do it now...you'll be able to find out why you're here and then y' can sort it and then y' can move on." Kyle explained.

"I still do not see why that is a bad thing." He said and sat down in front of Kyle.

Kyle chuckled humourlessly. "Y' just don't understand anythin'."

"So explain it to me." Castiel said looking at Kyle, his head tilted slightly...and trying not to be insulted by Kyle saying he didn't know anything.

"You're going to be leaving soon..."

Castiel straightened his head and frowned confused lightly. "I still do not-..."

"I'm going to be alone again." Kyle told him and looked away.

"Oh." Castiel said quietly. "Why do you not move on?"

"I told you, I'm stuck here. I refuse to move on."

"...But, why would you do that?"

Kyle sighed and scooted closer to Castiel, his bright blue eyes locked onto Castiel's intense blue ones. "I was going to tell you anyway, I did say I would after y' learned how to watch everything...and you've done that –in record time, I might add." He took a deep, dramatic breath before talking. "I was fifteen when I died. I was at the local shop...and I was shot by someone who had escaped from a mental hospital." He knelt up on his knees and lifted the white cloth material he was wearing up to reveal his stomach...that was covered in scars, huge ones that marred his pale smooth skin.

Castiel held his hand out and ran the tips of his fingers over the bumpy skin of Kyle's stomach. He stared at the skin with a frown as he used his palm to rub over it.

"That tickles!" Kyle laughed.

Castiel looked up to Kyle's face, and then back down to his stomach. "Oh, sorry-!" He stopped abruptly as his eyes trailed down Kyle's body...to his uncovered member. His face burned bright red and he quickly looked away and pulled his hand away from Kyle's stomach.

"What?-Oh, you didn't realise we don't have underwear here, did you?" Kyle grinned at him.

He shook his head and then looked back at Kyle...waiting.

Kyle stared at him for a short while. "Oh, where was I? Ah, yeah...anyway, I was only at the shop because I was arguing with my brother. We..." He smiled softly and sadly –Castiel didn't like that look on Kyle's face, even if it did make him look beautiful in a different sort of way. "Me and my brother, we had a...different sort of relationship to your love and his brother..."

Castiel listened intently to what Kyle was telling him...but tilted his head to the side, confused; he didn't understand what the blond had meant at the last part of what he was saying.

Kyle's face hardened slightly; his jaw tensed and his eyes grew emotionless. "We had sex, Castiel. That's what I mean by _different sort of relationship_. And it wasn't a onetime thing, either." He watched Castiel, waiting for the disgust to cover his face. "I know, it's disgusting, don't need to be told by you."

"I never said that."

Kyle's eyes widened at Castiel's words. "W-what? Y' don't think it's wrong?"

"I did not say that...but...I, personally, do not find it _disgusting_. And I cannot judge you, because it has nothing to do with me; it is your business."

Kyle swallowed the lump in his throat and then smiled widely. "Y' sure are strange, Castiel...but I like you."

Castiel smiled small back at him. "I like you too, Kyle."

Kyle looked up to the whiteness, still smiling. "Anyway, I had been arguing with my brother because my best friend had hit him and started yelling at him."

Castiel frowned, but he had a pretty good idea why his friend had hit Kyle's brother. "Why?"

"I told him me and my brother had been sleepin' together –I liked my best friend, _a lot_...and I wanted him to be jealous. Aaron –my friend- got really angry and told me I was stupid, and that if I wanted a fuck I should have gone to him, not my violent brother. Y'see my brother...he wasn't the nicest person and he could be rough, in and out of bed." Kyle said and smiled almost shyly at him. "Anyway, Aaron went to my brother and punched him in the face and started accusing him of raping me and saying he wasn't fit to be anywhere near me...my brother went to hit him but I stood in the way and took it."

"That was very brave." Castiel said without thinking...he just knew it would have taken guts to stand up to someone violent and take a punch for a friend.

Kyle smiled at him. "Aaron would have done the same for me. After a while of us all arguing, Aaron and me were at the shop and...here, let me show you." He took hold of one of Castiel's hands and used his other hand to press the palm to his forehead. A moment later they were both watching one of Kyle's memories in front of them.

"_Listen to me, Kyle...you don't have to stay with him, come and live with me!" A tall, short black haired boy said –_Castiel realised he must be Aaron and also noticed he looked like something out of a rock band, compared to Kyle's angelic look.

"_Why?" Kyle asked, he stopped walking and looked at Aaron. "So we can keep going on like we don't know we're both in love with each other? So we can pretend to be best friends...instead of just jumping each other's bones?"_

"_Kyle..." Aaron said softly and took a step closer to his blond friend. He reached his hand out and stroked his cheek. "I didn't want you to push me away." _

"_I wouldn't do that to you! I love you, Aaron. I only do what I do with Jake because I...I just...I don' know why! It just happens every goddamn time; it's not like I want him like that...but I don't stop him either. I'm sorry, Aaron, I'm really so, so sorry!" _

"_Kyle, calm down. I know you are, okay. I know." Aaron said and leaned in close to Kyle, pressing his lips to his forehead. "I love you too." He took hold of Kyle's hand and led him into the shop. _

"We were at the checkouts when it happen...we hadn't even realised there was no one else in the shop, or at the till." Kyle twisted his hand and the image of his memory speeded forward.

_The two boys were standing close to the till looking around...then there was a loud noise, a gunshot. _

_-BANG-_

_Kyle whirled around in time to see Aaron look down at his stomach...his shirt was slowly filling with red. Blood. He looked at Kyle and tried to speak, but fell to the floor. Kyle rushed forward and dropped to his knees, crying. "Aaron! Aaron! What-can you hear me! Aaron!" _

"_Stop your whining!" A voice said and Kyle was knocked backwards to the floor as he was hit in the face with the back of a shotgun. _

_Kyle cried out in pain...and then again as the man who had hit him stood on him violently in-between his legs. And again. Kyle was crying wildly now and he was shouting for Aaron. The man stomped on his face and then stood over his hips, the gun pressed against his flat stomach. _

_-BANG- _

_The guy moved it to another place on his stomach. _

_-BANG-_

_And another place. _

_-BANG-_

_Kyle had been screaming out in pain and for Aaron to help him. The man moved away as he saw Kyle's eye start to close...he left the shop. Kyle looked over at Aaron, who was crawling over to him. _

"_K-K-Kyle...Kyle, 'm com-comin'...K-Kyle..." _

_Kyle smiled slightly, blood dripping from his mouth...his eyes closed. _

"I died then...I didn't even make it to the hospital." Kyle told him. He stopped the memory and looked at Castiel, who had tears in his eyes. "I'm not mad that I died...I'm pissed that I never got to kiss Aaron."

Castiel looked at Kyle...and slowly wiped at his face, trying to stop himself from crying. "I am sorry for what happened to you...did...did Aaron not survive, either? Is that why you cannot move on?"

Kyle shook his head, a sad look on his face. "Aaron made it...he was shot in the stomach, but they managed to save him without anything bad happening to him...but..." He pressed his hand to his forehead –his other hand still holding Castiel's- and another image flashed in front of them.

_Aaron was sitting in a chair in what looked like a hospital...he looked older, only about twenty years old, but still older. _

"That's all he does, is sit there...he doesn't talk or anythin'. He has carers who look after him 24/7 in that home, his family gave up on him...and he gave up on life, he blames himself for not saving me...and it has practically killed him. He tried suicide a few years back...but it failed, so they have him on permanent suicide watch."

"I am sorry."

"It's not your fault." Kyle said and the image disappeared. "He's the reason I won't move on...he's like a vegetable, and it's my fault. So I won't go to some place better until he does."

Castiel watched Kyle closely. "I...I understand now."

Kyle looked at him and smiled. "Let's get to looking for why you're here."

Castiel felt he should be saying something to Kyle, something to make him feel better...but he didn't know what to do, so he nodded.

* * *

"Okay...why don' we take a break?" Kyle asked as he fell backwards onto his back on the whiteness.

Castiel turned to look at him. "I am trying to find out why I am here...why would we take a break?" They had been looking at the days leading up to the car accident for what felt like a lifetime...but they were at the day before the accident, they were almost able to watch the day of the accident...and Castiel hoped he found something useful on either of those days because they hadn't found anything from the week before.

"No offense, Castiel...but you led a pretty boring life the week before you died, and I am so-o bored!" Kyle whined.

"I did not ask you to help me watch them...and I did not lead a boring life, I enjoyed my life." He said quietly.

"Yeah, because you got to see your love every day."

Castiel turned his head to look down at Kyle –who had lifted his head to look at him. He looked away. "So what."

Kyle grinned and pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Hey...when you first got here, y'know when you were crying?"

Castiel's cheeks turned a dark shade of red. "I did not cry."

"Uh-huh, sure y' didn't." Kyle chuckled. "But do you remember? You said something about the accident...you said...argh! what was it you said!" Kyle brought up a new memory, getting rid of Castiel's current one. He twisted his hand to skip the memory forward...and Castiel realised they were watching when he had first got there. "Look, here it is, watch."

"_...it was more of a small pile up, actually. There was something wrong with the breaks..."_

Kyle stopped the memory and looked at Cas. Castiel's eyes widened; how could he have forgotten about the breaks not working...Dean had said that when they were in the car, and he had told Kyle...how could he be so stupid! And how could Kyle not have mentioned this sooner? He looked at the blond boy next to him. "Why did you not bring this up sooner?" He asked and didn't wait for an answer...he brought up the day of the accident, this time it was from no one's view, it was just of what had happened down there on that day.

"Don't get mad at me!"

He heard Kyle mumble as he moved closer to watch the memory. Castiel skipped through the image, looking for Dean's Impala. "Where is it?...Where is it?...Oh, yes, I remember..." Suddenly the image skipped and there it was, the Impala.

"Wait, your love's car was outside his home the whole day?" Kyle asked curiously and confused.

"No...this was when we went to pick Sam and Spencer up, they had been injured." Castiel skipped through the image again, past them collecting Sam and Spencer from the school, past driving to the hospital and past them rushing into the hospital; Spencer in Dean's arms and Sam clinging to Castiel. He kept the image on the car...and it was ages before anything happened.

"Hey, who's that?" Kyle asked.

"I don't know-..." Castiel started but stopped and leaned closer to the image; the man on the screen, the one opening the Impala's hood, had messy black hair and he was about Cas' height and suddenly he remembered who the man was. "His name is Jay. H-he was in the year above myself and Dean at school...he...Dean did not like him, even before we became a couple..." He said, his voice trailing off.

"Why not?"

"Because...Dean said he sat too close when we had lessons together –I was in quite a few advanced classes, all with him- and he said when he talked to me he would sometimes imply sexual things –I never realised though, I thought it was just Dean been overprotective again." Castiel tilted his head to the side. "H-he asked me...watch this." Kyle kept the image up (the one of the hospital) while Castiel brought another one up.

_Castiel was finishing getting dressed in the gym locker room. He had waited till he was sure everyone had left before he started to get changed back into his uniform...Dean had lingered around for a while, saying he'd wait for him, but Castiel had said he was okay to leave and that he would be fine on his own for a while without Dean...he hadn't seen the hurt face that came across Dean's face before he mumbled something and left. _

_He was putting his gym cloths back into his school back when he looked up and saw Jay standing close to him. He sucked in a deep shaky breath. _

"_Sorry, I scared you." _

_He shook his head. "That is alright. I just thought everyone had left." He said as he closed his bag. _

"_Yeah, I just forgot my bag." Jay said and laughed lightly. _

_Castiel smiled lightly in an understanding way. "Dean is always doing that." He didn't notice the deep frown on Jay's face. _

"_Hey, Castiel, can I ask you something?" Jay asked, moving closer to Cas. Castiel looked up from his bag and nodded. "You're not with Dean, are you?" _

_He looked at Jay and tilted his head to the side. "I do not understand." _

_Jay grabbed Castiel's upper arms and shoved him up against the lockers roughly and pressed himself against the younger boy. He watched Castiel frown, confused and unhappy. "I mean...you're not screwing him, right?"_

_Castiel's cheeks heated up and his eyes widened. "W-what! No. W-we are just friends." He said quietly. _

_Jay smiled; it was wide and slightly scary. "Good. So, go out with me?" _

"_Erm...I-I cannot, I already like someone else...I am sorry, Jay." He said and tried to move away from the older boy. _

_Jay's grip tightened on Castiel's arms and he slammed him against the lockers again. "I don't think you get it, Cas...well, okay, we don't have to go out, we'll just fuck." He said and crashed his lips against Castiel's. He pulled away and pressed further against Castiel as the younger boy tried to shove him away. He locked his lips onto Castiel's neck and ripped his shirt open...his hard rough hands running over the newly exposed soft skin. _

"_S-stop it! Jay, stop. N-no, do not-!" Castiel stopped as he felt Jay's hand undoing his belt and trousers. "Stop it! Dean! Help, Dean!" _

_Suddenly Jay was pulled away from Castiel and shoved into the opposite lockers, he was punched in the face twice and then kicked in the stomach as he was falling down to his knees."If you ever go near him again-! I swear I'll fucking kill you! Don't you ever-!" Dean was yelling as he continued to hit Jay. _

_Castiel realised it was Dean...and that he was going to end up beating him to death at this rate. He rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Dean's middle. "Please, stop it...Dean, please, you'll get in trouble, Dean!" _

_Dean stopped hitting Jay and realised the dark haired boy was unconscious. He turned around to Castiel. "Are you okay? He didn't actually touch...you know, did he?" _

_Castiel shook his head. "No, no he did not." _

"_C'mon, let's get you home." Dean said and fastened Cas' trousers up for him and covered his top half up with his trench-coat. They got there things and left the school. _

"Whoa...what happened after that?" Kyle asked as the memory disappeared.

Castiel turned to look at him. "Jay told on Dean...but I told the principle and the police that he had been forcing himself on me, and that Dean had done what he did to stop him, to protect me." He paused for a moment. "Dean did not get in any trouble, but Jay was kicked out of school and he told Dean he would get him back for it."

"So...that's why he killed you?"

"I can only assume he was going after Dean...not me." Castiel stopped talking and felt tears prickling his eyes. "This is my fault...Dean is in danger, because of me."

"Dude, how is this your fault? If that guy had of just asked you properly instead of tryin' t' rape you, it wouldn't have happened!" Kyle said, standing up and looking down at him.

Castiel nodded.

* * *

They had been watching various images of Jay through the past couple of years...he had seemed pretty normal, he had had relationships –even though they all ended badly, and he just...well, was overall normal. That was until he had seen Dean and Castiel leave the Impala at the hospital. It seemed he had just snapped, he went to the car and cut the breaks –it turned out he worked at a garage and had just recently finished his shift, so he had all his tools on him.

"I am going to check on Dean now." Castiel said, getting rid of the image and bringing up a new one.

Kyle nodded. "You want me to leave?"

"It is alright." Castiel told him. "You can stay, if you wish." The image flashed in front of them and Dean was...lying in bed, and not talking to Sam. "I do not understand...he and Sam are close...why is he not talking to Sam?"

"He's just lost you...you can't expect him to be himself right now, can y'?" Kyle said softly. "This is a few days after your...funeral."

Castiel nodded and brought up another image. He watched as Dean sat through the funeral, not crying...he knew his boyfriend wouldn't have cried in front of everyone, he would probably wait till he got home. He then watched as Dean punched a distant relative of his and started screaming at him...he knew what had set Dan off; his relative had said that Dean had _supposedly_ loved him. "I want to see what he is doing now...will you help me."

Kyle nodded; Castiel was better than good a bringing up the images and memories but he was good at getting the ones that were happening right now down on earth. Kyle brought an image up of what Dean was doing right now...and his eyes widened.

Castiel watched as Dean was on his knees in front of his gravestone.

"_I need you, Cas. What am I supposed to do! I haven't spent a day without you in sixteen goddamn years! What am I supposed to do without you? I need you. I love you. I don't know what to do. I really, really don't know what to do...not without you. I need you more than anything."_

He watched with tearful eyes as Sam and Spencer came to get him. "I need to go to him...I need to save him." Castiel told Kyle, watching the image of Dean crying to Sam.

Kyle nodded. "You'll only have three days down there...you're not a full Angel so you can't stay there as long as you want." He watched Castiel stand up and look down at him with a tilted head and confused look. "Go now." He said and held his hand palm outwards to Castiel. "See ya around."

Everything flashed white.

* * *

"I need him back, Sam."

"I know you do, and I'm sor-!" Sam started but stopped.

There was a bright white flash of light and everybody shut their eyes quickly. When Dean opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was that Sam and Spencer weren't there...and the second thing he noticed was the all-too-familiar beige trench coat and the familiar dark hair and the familiar intense too blue eyes.

"Cas?"

"Dean."

* * *

End of chapter 5!

Thanks for reading and everything! :D


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: The Reason.

"Cas?"

"Dean."

Dean stared wide eyed in disbelief -his face streaked with tears. He had to be hallucinating or something...yeah, that was it, it was probably because of the lack of food or drink. He couldn't be there. Castiel could not be standing there, less than a foot away from him. He couldn't...it was impossible...there was no way...he could be there...Absolutely. No. Fricking. Way.

He hadn't even realised he had moved towards the figure that resembled his dead boyfriend...until his hand clutched tightly at that damn trench-coat. There was a whimpering noise that spilt through the silence...and he hadn't even realised it was him who had made the noise. He let go of the coat; how badly had he been treating himself the past week that he was hallucinating ...and he thought that he was actually touching the hallucination? He took a step back, away from the there-but-not-really-there Castiel.

"Jesus Christ..." Dean moaned. He turned around...there was no Sam and no Spencer. He had imagined them there too? He shook his head; he could understand imagining Cas was there with him...but Sam and Spencer? They were still alive, why would he need to imagine them?

"Dean." The imagined Cas said again...his voice matched his sad expression.

Dean shook his head. "No. Go away. Go away. No." He said as he rubbed at his eyes, trying to make the imaginary Castiel go away. He ignored the tears that fell down his face. "This isn't fair, go away. Leave me alone."

"Dean, please..." Castiel said, moving closer to his obviously in-denial boyfriend. "It is me, Cas..."

"No! You're not Cas, you're not my Cas, fuck sake you're not even here!" Dean yelled and looked at Castiel.

Castiel moved forward, slowly, watching Dean's nervous little movements as he stared at him. He stopped in front of Dean and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "I am here, Dean." He said into his boyfriend's neck. "I have come to help. Please...please do not push me away."

More tears sprang free from Dean's eyes and rolled down his face; he wasn't hallucinating? Castiel was really there...holding him. "Ca-...Cas." He whispered and wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist, pulling him closer. "Cas. Cas. Cas." He cried as he fell to his knees, dragging Castiel with him. They ended up in a heap on the floor with Castiel partially sitting on Dean. "You...you're here...how're you...?"

"I...I am not entirely sure." Castiel told him. "I was with Kyle and the next thing I knew I was here...I am not complaining though. I am with you now." He said holding tighter to Dean.

Dean had heard Cas say another man's name...but he couldn't even care right now. Cas was here with him. He didn't know how, he didn't care how and he sure as hell wasn't going to complain about it. "Don't go. Don't leave me. Don't ever leave me again." He said clinging to Castiel even more. "Don't go. Don't go. Don't leave me."

Castiel's whole body tensed; he only had three days...he was going to have to leave again in only three days. "No, Dean, I will not leave you...not ever again." A tear escaped his eyes as he lied to Dean; he didn't like lying to Dean...he very rarely did, but now he was and it was the biggest lie of all.

They stayed like that for a while, just sitting on the floor, holding each other while silent tears fell from their eyes. Dean was the first to pull away –even though all he wanted to do was stay like that for ever. He looked into Cas' eyes, that were usual so intense but were now shining with unshed tears. "I missed you so much..." He said taking hold of Cas' face. "I don't...how're you...how're you here?"

"Can I not explain this later? I just...I want to go home. I want to see Sam and even Spencer. I want to lay down with you and talk to you and kiss you." Castiel said, looking into Dean's eyes.

Dean smiled softly, his eyes glistening with tears. "Okay, c'mon let's go." He stood up, pulling Castiel with him. He wrapped his arms around him tightly quickly before grabbing his hand and walking out of the graveyard together.

* * *

Dean opened the front door, his other hand still holding tightly to Castiel's. They walked into the apartment and then into the living room. Dean stared out of the window, not sure what was going on or what he was supposed to do now. He turned his head to the side as he felt Castiel's arms wrap around his middle.

"Dean..." Castiel mumbled. "Dean...Dean..."

He took hold of Castiel's hands that were gripping into his shirt. "Yeah, Cas?"

"Dean, is that you!" Sam's voice shouted from the hall. Then suddenly he and Spencer were in the living room, staring with shocked expressions. "D-Dean...i-is that...?" Sam took a few steps forward, staring at Castiel –who had turned to face him- with disbelieve. "C-C-Cas?"

"Hello, Sam." Castiel smiled softly.

"Cas!" Sam cried and ran for Castiel, throwing his arms around the older boy.

Dean smiled as he watched his little brother cling to Castiel. He looked over at Spencer to see he had a soft but confused expression on his face. He frowned and walked over to him, leaving Castiel and Sam to hug. "You okay, Spence?"

Spencer looked at him as if he had been snapped out of an important thought. "E-err, y-yeah..." He mumbled nervously and looked back at Sam and Castiel.

"Then what's with the look?" Dean asked defensively; he didn't like Spencer frowning at Castiel...it didn't sit well with him and he was too damn happy at having his boyfriend back to let the kid frown at him and ruin it.

Spencer looked up at Dean; he could tell by the older boy's voice that this wasn't going in a good direction. "What look?"

"Don't piss about...tell me why you were looking at them like that." Dean said; his voice was low but angry and even a little threatening.

"I-I...I'm happy for you, you and Sam both. But this isn't possible, how is Castiel back? How did Sam and I end up back here like we did? This is wrong. I-!" Spencer was cut off as Dean slapped him, his head twisted to the side and his glasses flew off his face and landed on the floor.

Even though he was angry at what Spencer had said, he knew he was probably overreacting...and that if he had punched him he would have seriously hurt him, so he settled for slapping the younger boy instead. "Don't you dare say this is wrong."

"Dean!" Sam yelled furiously and shocked. He let go of Castiel and ran to Spencer, taking hold of his face gently and turned it so his boyfriend was looking at him, with wide tearful eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked rubbing his thumb over the red mark on Spencer's face.

Spencer bit the inside of his top lip and nodded slightly.

"No, you're not." Sam said; he knew when Spencer bit his lip he wasn't okay...he was upset and hurt. He bent down and picked Spencer's glasses up; as he straightened up he turned to look at Dean. "What the hell are you doing!" He yelled. "Cas is back but you wan' t' spend your time hitting my boyfriend, what the fuck Dean!"

"He said Cas shouldn't be here!" Dean yelled back angrily.

Sam frowned and looked back at Spencer. "Spencer wouldn't say something like that."

"He did!"

"I didn't say that...all I meant was...I-I..." Spencer started and turned to look over at Castiel, who was watching the scene. "I don't know you, but what I do know is you make these two so happy...and while you weren't here, they...they weren't themselves, especially Dean. I wasn't trying to say you shouldn't be here, I just meant it's not normal for you to have come back from the...the dead...and, there must be a reason for it." He said quietly, tears slipping free from his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"It is okay, Spencer. It turns out, you are right." Castiel said as he moved closer to Dean and the boys. "I am here for a reason."

Dean frowned deeply, worriedly. "What're you saying, Cas?"

* * *

"So, you're here because someone is after Dean?" Sam asked quietly; he was sitting on the chair at the table between Dean and Spencer, his hand gripping Spencer's tightly.

Castiel nodded, his eyes fixed on Dean who was sat next to him at the table. He was worried he had said something wrong; Dean had been quiet since he had started talking, he hadn't said a word and he had kept his gaze on the wall opposite them. "I believe so, yes."

"So, who is it? You do know, right? I mean, I know you know what he looks like 'cause you saw him...but do you know his name?" Sam asked.

Castiel looked at Dean with a weary expression. "Yes, I know who it is." He kept his gaze on Dean as he continued. "We both do. Do you...do you remember Jay Simmons?"

Dean's eyes snapped away from the wall and to Cas immediately. He stared at him with an outraged and angry expression. "You mean that little bastard that tried to rape you!" He shot to his feet, his chair falling to the ground with a bang. "He's the reason you...that you..." He said angrily, his words not coming out how he wanted them to.

"Dean, he...I do not think Jay was trying to kill me, I do not think he knew I would be in the car with you." Castiel said quietly and calmly.

"Don't say his fucking name, Cas! I don't give a shit if he didn't think you were gonna be in the car! He fucking killed you! He's the reason you're dead!" Dean yelled angrily. "Don't stick up for him!"

Castiel stood up and took a few steps closer to Dean. "I am not _sticking up for him_. I am simply trying to say he was trying to kill you from the very beginning. He has killed me and now he is going to try and kill you...he was after you, not me."

Dean paused, thinking about what Castiel had just said...it made sense. Jay Simmons had hated Dean for stopping him when he had tried to hurt Cas and had got him kicked out of school, it was a little strange to wait so many years but of course he'd want to get back at Dean for it. "Well, he...he _liked_ you Cas, it makes sense that he wouldn't want to kill you...he hated me. So it was kind of obvious he'd be after me and not you."

"Why are you not taking this seriously?" Castiel asked.

"Huh?"

"I am standing here, telling you someone could be trying to kill you. Why do you not care?"

"I never said I didn't care, Cas!" Dean yelled. "But, y'know what? I don't give a shit!"

Castiel's eyes widened and then narrowed in anger; how could Dean not care if he lived or died? He had come back for him, he had come back to see him, he had come back to save him...how could he not care! He stepped forward, getting into Dean's personal space –not that either of them would have cared in a normal circumstance...but now, they were angry and yelling, something that wasn't normal for them to be at each other. "_Do not dare_ say that again."

Dean frowned, leaning back slightly so he could look at Castiel properly. "Why the hell not?" He snapped, not liking the tone Cas had used –it was dark and demanding-...it wasn't him. Cas didn't speak like that.

"I have come back here for _you_. I came down here to protect you; to save you...I could not even move on because of you, so I am stuck halfway between a human and an Angel! I have come back to save you and you do not even care! I could have moved on and left you, left you for Jay to kill because you would not have known about him and let you come to me, but I love you so I came back!" Castiel said; it would have sounded calm if Dean couldn't hear the anger and hurt in his boyfriend's voice.

Dean's eyes were wide and he didn't know what to say, or what to do. Castiel couldn't move on? Did he mean he couldn't go to heaven? Why? And he was half human, half Angel? How? Why? And how did he get back to earth? And did he really just come back because he was in danger? Would he have come back if he wasn't in danger? He stayed quiet, just going over his thoughts and what Castiel had said.

"C-Cas, did you just say you were part Angel?" Sam asked, slowly, confused.

Castiel tore his gaze away from his stunned boyfriend to the two younger boys still sitting at the table. "Yes, Sam, that is what I said. Where I was, there was someone named Kyle who explained something's to me and he showed me how to watch my memories and watch how you were all doing while I was not around."

"Wait a sec, you mean like you were...watching over us?" Sam asked slowly again.

Castiel nodded and remembered seeing the way Dean had been interacting with Sam since he hadn't been there. He looked over at Dean, frowning. "I did not like what I saw." He admitted.

Sam and Spencer sat and watched Dean and Castiel stare at each other, in a not so loving way. Sam felt the need to explain and defend his brother's actions at Castiel's funeral. "Cas, that relative of yours said something that was out of line, it wasn't Dean's fault."

Castiel kept his gaze on Dean as he spoke to Sam. "I understand that Sam, that is not what I am talking about." He aimed his next words at Dean. "I am talking about how you had been acting with Sam. That was not fair and it was not right."

Dean frowned. "Don't start with that shit! What was I supposed to do, I lost you Cas...I fucking _lost you_. What, you want me to be happy and be fine with it? Well I'm not, I wasn't, okay?" He yelled and stormed off.

Castiel stared at Dean as he stormed off down hallway and to his room. After a short while he turned to look at Sam and Spencer. He moved and sat at the table, next to Spencer. "I did not mean to upset him..."

"Yeah...well, you did." Sam said as he looked at Castiel.

"Sam..." Spencer said shaking his head at his boyfriend, with a soft look on his face.

"I did not mean to. He should not have been neglecting you the way he has been." Castiel said quietly, looking towards the hall.

"Cas...I, thanks for worry or whatever, but I got it, he missed you...that was the only reason he was been like that, you know that."

"I know that, Sam. But...I was gone, you were all he had left...he was pushing you away." Castiel said quietly and sadly.

They all went quiet then.

Spencer was the one to break the silence a minute or so later. "How long do you have?" He asked, looking at Castiel.

Castiel turned his head to look at the younger boy. "I am sorry?"

"I don't mean to sound..." Spencer sighed. "You can't have come back for good...there is a time limit to your stay, right?"

Castiel smiled gloomily. "You are very smart, Spencer. How did you know?"

Spencer smiled sadly. "It was just a guess, I was thinking about it while you were talking to Dean...you've come back to save him, but you didn't mention anything about after that...and I got the feeling you...this whole situation is illogical, but what is even more is that you'd be allowed to stay after you have saved him."

Castiel nodded. "I am not entirely sure why I only have so little time to be here to save him, but I do."

Sam was looking between the two of them with wide fearful eyes. "What? Wait, you only have so much time to be here! You mean you're not...back for good?"

Castiel looked at Sam and shook his head. "No...I only have a short period of time to be here, to save Dean."

Sam felt tears brim in his eyes. "Well then...how long do you have?"

"Three days."

Sam choked out a sob. "You haven't told Dean, have you?"

Castiel's eyes fell down to look at the table. "I cannot."

"You need to."

"I know...but not yet. I need to go make things right." Castiel said and stood from his chair. He walked to the hallway and down to Dean's room. He knocked on the door and didn't wait for an answer before he walked into the room.

"I am sorry."

* * *

End of chapter 6!

Thanks for reading and stuff!

I think there's only going to be two or three more chapters after this, but there is going to be some 'lemons' in before the end xD.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Apologising and Making Up.

"I am sorry." Castiel said as he stood close to the shut door, his eyes focused only on Dean who was laid on his back in the middle of his bed. Everything was quiet. "Dean, please...I did not mean to get at you...I am sorry." He said still looking at Dean, his eyes filling with tears; he had come back to Dean...and they had spent most of their little time together arguing. He didn't like it.

Dean continued to stay quiet for a moment, thinking about how he was acting...over the past week he had imagined that Cas wasn't actually dead and that they were still together, still happy. But now he was actually back all he had done was kick off and make Castiel feel like he was the one that needed to apologise. He looked over at Castiel, and his face saddened as his boyfriend immediately dropped his head avoiding Dean's gaze. _'I'm such a dick.' _He pushed himself into a sitting position and after a few seconds patted the space next to him, knowing Cas would sit there.

Castiel looked up when he heard Dean's hand pat the mattress. He noticed Dean wasn't looking at him anymore; his gaze was on the wall opposite his bed. He slowly moved to the bed -dropping his coat onto the floor as he went- and climbed onto the double bed, sitting close to Dean.

Neither of them said a word or even moved for at least five minutes. Dean was the first to move; he wrapped his arm around Castiel's shoulders and pulled him closer to him. "I'm sorry..." He said quietly. "I'm sorry I yelled at you...I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."

Castiel shook his head. "No, it was not your fault. I am the one that brought it all up, so I am sorry."

"Geez Cas, just shut up. I'm the one who started yelling first and if you hadn't have told me about...about _him_, how would I be able to help stop him? So, just...stop blaming yourself, please Cas. I didn't mean to shout at you...I just...uh, I don't know..." Dean said uncomfortably. His arm tightened around Cas' shoulders and he turned his head to bury it into Castiel's hair. "I wanted you back so badly...I didn't want to live without you...I needed you back...and I've got you back and all I've done is yell at you...I didn't want it to be like this..." He said quietly, tears slipping free from his eyes.

Castiel twisted against Dean's body and wrapped his arms around him. "It is okay, so please, stop crying. I do not like seeing you cry."

"I know." Dean said and then kissed at Cas' neck. "I'm sorry." He kissed his boyfriend's neck again, his left hand gripping tightly at his hip and pulling him closer while his right hand tugged at Castiel's dark hair, pulling his head back and giving Dean more and easier access to his neck.

Castiel moved his legs so they were at each side of Dean's body. Even though Dean's hand was pulling his head back, he moved it even further back. "D-Dean...?" He asked as he felt Dean's lips stop moving up his neck.

Dean tightened his grip on Castiel's hip and rested his forehead against his neck. "We shouldn't be doing this right now. They're things I haven't asked yet...things I don't know..." He mumbled, his lips brushing against Castiel's neck as he spoke.

"Dean...w-we can talk about everything after we do this." Castiel said quietly, his hands gripping at Dean's arms.

"But Cas..."

Castiel moved his hands from Dean's arms to his face, cupping it and pulling him closer. "We...can...talk...about _everything_...after..." He said between quick kisses to Dean's lips. "Dean please, I want this..._I want you_." He said whispering the last three words into Dean's mouth.

Dean didn't need to hear anything else right now –he would get his answers later. He closed the small gap between them and pressed his lips to Castiel's feverishly. His hands grabbed at Cas' body and pulled him closer and onto his lap. Their lips opened against each other's and their tongues slid together. His hands pulled at Castiel's shirt, just ripping it open and once he pushed it off of his boyfriend's shoulders his hands went straight to undoing his trousers.

Castiel moaned as he felt Dean's hand rub over his boxer clad cock.

Dean grinned against Castiel's open mouth and rocked forward, knocking Castiel flat onto his back and he fell forward onto him...their lips not leaving the other's once. He pulled and pushed at Cas' trousers and boxers, shoving them all the way down to his knees. He pulled away from Cas' lips, they were both panting deeply, and knelt on his knees as he stared at his boyfriend laid out in front of him; Cas' arms were above his head, his cheeks were red, his lips were parted as he panted deeply, his chest was rising and falling rapidly also because of his panting, his thighs were parted so they were revealing everything to Dean...with his trousers gathered at his knees. He pulled his t-shirt off over his head and threw it to the floor, before pulling Castiel's trousers and boxers off of his legs and then leaned back down over his boyfriend.

"Stay...stay here..." Castiel panted as he wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, pulling him down onto his body and holding him there as he pressed their lips together.

Dean pulled away from Cas' lips, licking across the bottom one before he made his way to his neck, kissing and nipping at the skin. He slipped his left hand in-between their bodies and his fingers quickly found their way to Castiel's small puckered opening. He loved the way Castiel gasped as his first finger slipped inside him. He quickly slipped another one in, not waiting for Cas to adjust to the first one.

Castiel was gasping and panting as Dean made quick work of opening him up. He watched as Dean slipped his fingers free from him and pushed his thighs further apart while he knelt in-between his legs. He only now realised Dean still had his jeans on.

Dean unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans before he pushed them and his boxers half-way down his thighs. He leaned back over Castiel, his left hand pressed palm flat against the mattress as his right hand took hold of his hard weeping member and lined up with Cas' wet widened opening. He pressed the head of his cock into Castiel...and watched his boyfriend's mouth open wide as he moaned. He pushed in deeper and used his right hand to caress Castiel's face, soothingly and lovingly.

Castiel cried out as he felt Dean push hard, quickly bottoming out inside him. Neither of them waited for Castiel to adjust to Dean's long thick length in him before they were moving; Dean pulled half-way out and shoved back in, Cas was lifting his hips and moving with Dean.

They kept their eyes locked together as Dean began moving faster and faster, pounding in and out of Castiel.

Castiel lifted his legs from the bed and wrapped them around his blond boyfriend's waist and his left hand gripped at his shoulder, clinging to him. "Ah! D-Dean...ah, Dean, I..." He panted. He knew he wasn't going to last long and it felt as though they had only just started. He hadn't realised it before, but when he was in limbo and since he arrived back on earth...he had been craving Dean and his touch. He knew that was why he was almost finished...already. "...Dean, I-I..."

Dean knew what Cas was trying to say...he was in the same shape. He angled his hips and pushed forward back into his boyfriend; he rolled his hips, making his toned stomach press against Cas' hard cock, rubbing against it as he moved faster and harder, in and out of him.

He felt the head of his member prod against his boyfriend's prostrate...and he knew he had defiantly hit it by the way Castiel cried out his name. He pounded into his boyfriend harder and harder, making sure he hit that spot again and again.

"D-De-an!" Castiel cried out as he came, his hot white seed splashing over his own and Dean's stomach's.

Dean shoved into him once more and he came hard and quickly into Castiel, with a loud shout of his lover's name. "Cas!" After a few more lazy thrusts he fell down onto Castiel. After a short while of silence, Dean kissed Cas' neck and whispered against it, "I love you, Castiel."

Castiel smiled happily and contently as he wrapped his arms around Dean's body, his hands gripping possessively at his back. "I love you, too Dean."

* * *

Sam was laid on the sofa, his head resting on a cushion propped up against the arm. His eyes were locked on the faded red-pink mark on Spencer's cheek; Spencer was laid on his back in-between Sam's legs, his eyes shut lightly in sleep with his not marked cheek resting on his right thigh and his left arm was holding onto Sam's other thigh while his right arm was wrapped awkwardly but comfortably around Sam's waist. Sam's left hand was resting on Spencer's hip, his thumb playing with the skin where Spencer's shirt had ridden up.

They had been about to go to his bedroom when he heard a _noise_ come from Dean's room, he had gone back into the living room and told Spencer they were staying in the there for a little while longer. Spencer had given him a confused look at first, but then nodded and said he understood. They had put some old movie that was on one of the TV channels on...Sam had gotten bored of it less than half-way through and decided he and Spencer should just sit and _make-out_ for a while. So they did.

It had made him forget. Forget that his brother's boyfriend –who was also like another big brother to him- had died two weeks ago. Forget that he had come back from the dead. Forget that he only had three days back on earth...forget that he and his boyfriend knew that, but Dean didn't.

He hadn't thought about that stuff once while his lips were on Spencer's and his neck and his chest and even his stomach. But since Spencer had fallen asleep, that was all he could think about, that...and what he should do with the information he knew.

Should he tell Dean?

Should he wait for Castiel to tell Dean?

But...he knew Castiel didn't want to tell Dean, he didn't want to upset Dean, he didn't want to leave Dean. Sam felt tears fill his eyes as he thought about his brother and how he was going to be when Cas was gone again. Devastated didn't even begin to cover it.

He shook his head; he didn't want to think about the bad things that would come...he wanted to focus on now and the next three days, the time they had with Castiel, the time Dean had left with the person he loved most.

His eyes focused on Spencer...and again, he tried to imagine what he would be like without him. He knew he hadn't known Spencer for half as long as Dean had known Castiel and that they had got together after an uncomfortable and embarrassing –for Spencer- situation...but that didn't matter, he would be just as bad as Dean had been the past weeks. He knew he would.

Sam shifted and leaned forward awkwardly; he pressed his lips to Spencer's hair and whispered, "I love you." He lay back down.

Spencer stirred in his sleep; his head rolled so it rested on Sam's other thigh. "Love you, too." He mumbled in his sleep.

* * *

They had been laid in silence, just enjoying the other's presence, for almost an hour.

Dean's hand was moving up and down Castiel's back in soothing, gentle circles. "Cas...do you...erm, do you remember what you...y'know went through?"

Castiel lifted his head and rested his chin on Dean's chest, his eyes staring into his boyfriend's. "Do you mean from the accident?" He asked quietly.

Dean's face was sad with a hint of hope as he nodded.

"Yes." Castiel said quietly; he didn't want to lie to Dean more than he was already. He watched the hope disappear from Dean's face immediately and it saddened impossibly more. "But I remember you screaming for help for me. I remember you holding my hand and telling me you wouldn't leave me." He smiled softly, lovingly, gratefully.

Dean looked away, trying to hide the tears in his eyes.

After a moment Castiel moved his hand up and gently pulled on Dean's face, making him look at him. "Is that all you wanted to know? I thought you wanted to ask me questions."

Dean cleared his throat and nodded. "Yeah, I, err...where were you? I mean, y'know while you weren't here." His hand moved up Cas' back to his hair, playing with it and tugging it gently now and then.

"I was in what Kyle said was limbo...I did not like it all that much. It was nothing but...whiteness. Everywhere." Castiel told him. His mind wondered to Kyle...he wondered if he was okay, if he was still in limbo or if he had moved on yet. He hoped he would see him again, he liked Kyle.

"But...you weren't been hurt...o-or anything. You weren't somewhere dangerous?" Dean asked, obviously worried.

Castiel smiled softly again; he loved how Dean worried for him...even if he didn't like making Dean worry. "No, I was never in any danger. There was only myself and Kyle there."

Dean's hand stopped in Castiel's hair. "You've, err, mentioned that name a few times now...who is he?"

Castiel tilted his head to side slightly...and then realised why Dean was asking about Kyle. "Kyle is my friend. He was in limbo when I arrived there...he has been there for a few years now, he refuses to move on. He is very nice and he helped me a lot; he showed me how to see my memories and how to see what you were doing while I was not here." He paused and watched Dean. "I think you would have liked him too...he is very friendly but has his cheeky moments, but even then it is hard to be annoyed at him. In that respect he is very much like Sam." He smiled a little wider.

Dean couldn't help but smile back at Cas. "I missed you." He said, his hand moving from his boyfriend's hair to stroke his cheek and then brush across his bottom lip.

"And I missed you." Castiel closed his eyes, loving the feel of Dean touching his face.

"So...about _that_ guy, what are we going to do?"

Castiel had a sort of smirk on his face now. "I thought you did not give a shit?"

Dean huffed a laugh. "Yeah, well...I guess I do."

Castiel smiled softly and happily. "I am glad." He kissed Dean's chest. "I will explain in the morning...now, we should rest."

"Cas, I wanna know."

"And you will...in the morning."

"Now, Cas."

Castiel sighed. "I am going to watch him, see where he is and what he is planning...and when he is going to come after you, I will stop him."

Dean stared at Castiel, confused and slightly worried. "Cas...what do you mean _stop _him?"

Castiel kept Dean's gaze for a moment before looking away and answering his boyfriend. "I will make sure he will never hurt you...or that he will not go after Sam and Spencer."

"But _how,_ Cas?"

"Dean, I will stop him from hurting you...you do not need to know how." Castiel explained to him; he didn't want Dean to know how he was going to stop Jay. He wasn't even sure if he could stop him how Kyle had told him...but he was going to try, to protect Dean he would do anything.

Dean ran his hand over his face and breathed out shakily. "Cas...please tell me you are not going to kill him."

Castiel's jaw tightened and his eyes hardened. "He is trying to kill you, Dean; I will do whatever it takes to stop him."

"I'm not goin' to let you kill someone for me, damn it Cas...What're you thinking?" Dean asked as he shoved himself up from the bed, knocking Castiel off of him in the process. "How can you even think...why would you...Cas, you can't..."

"He is trying to kill you Dean!" Castiel said loudly, angrily. "He killed _me_!" He really hadn't wanted to resort to that...but he didn't know what else to say to convince Dean that Jay was a big enough threat that he needed to be killed.

Dean frowned at Cas. "I know that, god, I know that! But I am not going to let _you_ be the one to kill him."

"Why not?" Castiel asked as he knelt in-between Dean's legs.

"Because...I've already thought about it, and I'm going to do it." Dean told him, his eyes locked with Cas' and his face showing nothing but seriousness. "What kind of guy would I be if I let an Angel _kill_ someone?" He asked smiling.

Castiel's face saddened; he knew that wasn't the reason why Dean wanted to kill Jay and not let him do it, but he didn't know the exact reason...and he didn't feel now was the reason to find out. He _would_ find out later though. He nodded and climbed onto Dean's naked lap. "Very well."

Dean smiled up at him and took hold of his hips. "You're not gonna drop this, are you?"

Castiel smiled and moved his face close to Dean's. "For now." He pressed his lips to Dean's in a quick peck. "But..." He kissed his neck. "I will..." He moved to the other side of his neck and kissed there. "Bring it up..." He pecked at his lips again. "Later."

* * *

End of chapter 7!

Thanks for reading, reviewing and stuff!

The 'lemon' part was supposed to be short because it was like their first time together since Castiel had come back, so it was supposed to be quick. But there will be another and it will be longer and more detailed. :)


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: Watching.

Dean was woken up by the sound of someone banging on his bedroom door and yells of, _"Dean, get your ass out of bed! Dean!" _He groaned and pushed himself up slightly, leaning against the headboard. He looked at the alarm clock on his bedside table. _06:00_. "What the hell?" He mumbled quietly.

Castiel groaned and nuzzled his face further into Dean's chest.

Dean looked down at Cas and smiled at his sleeping boyfriend. He really couldn't explain how happy he was to have Cas back...happy just didn't do it justice.

"Dean!"

"_Hang on, Sammy._" He snapped quietly, but loudly enough for his brother to hear him. He didn't want to wake Castiel up.

"Mmh...it is okay, Dean...I am awake." Castiel mumbled as he sat up on Dean's lower stomach, rubbing at his eyes.

Dean groaned. "Damn it Sam! What the hell do you want at this time!"

"We need to talk about what we're doing about this Jay guy...y'know the guy that wants to kill you." Sam said and then walked into his older brother's bedroom, and frowned at the sight that greeted him; Dean was laid on his back with Castiel sitting on his lower stomach, the bed cover was creased over Dean's thighs...displaying both of their naked bodies to Sam. "Dude! Cover up already!" He said frowning deeply; it wasn't like he hadn't seen them both naked before, because he had, plenty of times...but he hadn't really seen them in such an intimate position before.

"Why don't you just get out." Dean suggested.

Castiel pulled the bed sheet around his hips, which also covered Dean up. His cheeks were a dark shade of red; he hadn't realised Sam could see...well, everything. "What is wrong, Sam?"

Sam glanced at Castiel quickly before turning his gaze to Dean and keeping it on his brother. He saw the hurt and confused look on Cas' face...but he couldn't help it. He knew Castiel hadn't told Dean about how little time he had left here...and that upset him, knowing that Castiel was lying to his brother. "What're we doing about that guy? How're we gonna find him and how're we going to stop him?"

"We have a plan, Sam." Castiel told him.

Sam didn't say anything to Castiel, he didn't even look at him...he kept his eyes on Dean and spoke. "You need to get up so we can go do something about him."

Dean frowned noticing the cold way Sam was acting towards Castiel...and the hurt look on his boyfriend's face. He decided he would ask about it in a while, he would just watch for a while and see if he noticed why his brother was acting the way he was. "Like Cas said, we've got a plan. So, you can get out and let us sleep now."

"No way, man. Get y' ass outta bed, now." Sam practically ordered.

"Why? It's like six o'clock, Sammy. Why so damn early?" Dean moaned.

"Because we only have th-!" Sam's eyes flashed to Castiel's face and saw the shocked and scared expression he was suddenly wearing. He looked back at Dean. "Sooner we catch him, sooner this is over, right?"

"Yeah, but six o'clock?" Dean whined.

"Up, _now_!" Sam snapped. He took one last look at Castiel and left the room, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

Dean stared at the door for a short while before looking up at Castiel, who was staring down at his chest with a sort of sad and hurt look across his face. "Cas, babe, what's wrong?" He asked as he placed his hand on Cas' cheek, his thumb brushing across his bottom lip.

Castiel's eyes lifted to Dean's. "N-nothing...I am fine." He smiled weakly.

Dean frowned lightly and pulled Castiel down, pressing their lips quickly together before pulling him to lie on top of his body and wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace. "If something is bothering you...please, Cas, tell me."

Castiel shut his eyes and clung to Dean's warm body; how was he supposed to tell him what was bothering him? Why Sam was mad at him? He couldn't. He knew he had to tell Dean how long he was able to stay on earth, and that it wasn't forever...but he couldn't. He loved him so much. Telling him he was leaving soon would be admitting that he couldn't stay with Dean like he wanted to.

He pressed his lips to Dean's neck and then rested his forehead there, his eyes still closed. "Just let me...stay like this for a little while, please."

Dean smiled softly and held Cas tighter. "Stay there as long as you want, babe...we got all the time in the world now. You're back here with me."

Castiel bit his lip as he felt tears fill his eyes behind his closed eyelids.

* * *

Sam slammed his bedroom door shut.

Spencer's eyes flew open as he shot into a sitting position in the middle of Sam's double bed. "What!" He asked loudly, shocked.

Sam gave his boyfriend an apologetic look. "Sorry, I forgot you were here."

Spencer stared at him for a moment before blinking a few times. "Gee, thanks." He mumbled.

Sam sighed and made his way over to the bed. "I didn't mean it like that, you know I didn't." He sat in the middle of the bed in front of Spencer. "Sorry."

Spencer smiled, softly. "I know you didn't." He reached his hand out and took hold of Sam's, holding it tightly. "What's wrong?"

Sam ignored Spencer's question as he looked down at their joined hands. A moment later he leaned forward and crashed his lips to his boyfriend's, his free hand gripping at Spencer's long curly brown hair, holding him in place. He slipped his tongue out of his mouth and ran it across Spencer's full bottom lip.

Spencer opened his mouth, letting Sammy's tongue in. He spread his legs wide –under the covers-, making it so Sam was in-between them. He moaned as Sam's tongue slid across his.

Sam kept his lips moulded to Spencer's as he pushed his boyfriend back against the headboard. He pulled the bed cover down and pressed his body against Spencer's, rough and hard. He tugged at his boyfriend's pyjama pants and after a moment of trying and failing to pull them down, shoved his hand down the front of them...gripping roughly at Spencer's limp cock, making it harden instantly.

Spencer gasped into Sam's mouth still pressed against his. He knew there was something wrong with his boyfriend, Sam was been rough...his lips, his hands and his body that was grinding and pressing down against his was been rougher than he usually was. Sam's hand gripped tighter at Spencer's cock and he gasped out of pain this time...his grip was really _too_ tight. He pulled away from Sam's mouth, but his boyfriend's just fell to his neck, biting and nipping at the sensitive skin there. "Ow, Sammy..." He breathed shakily as Sam's hand continued to pump his hardened length –he could feel Sam's hard cock grinding against his thigh. "Ah, S-Sam, t-that hurts...ow, ah!"

Sam knew Spencer was talking...but he wasn't registering what his boyfriend was saying. He didn't really care right now either, he was angry and upset...mostly at Castiel, and partly at Dean and even at himself. He tightened his hand around Spencer's length and tugged on it harshly as he ground down against the thin body beneath him.

"Oww!" Spencer all but screeched. He shoved Sam away as hard as he could. "S-Sammy...stop!" He said breathing deeply as he used his hand to cup in-between his legs. "T-that hurt, Sam."

Sam stared at Spencer and then his eyes widened; he had been too rough...he'd hurt Spencer. "Shit." He mumbled. Sam could tell Spencer was trying to hold back tears, but he was only half succeeding. He crawled closer to Spencer, carefully. "Spence, you okay?"

Spencer didn't respond for a while, but when he did he just nodded.

"I...I didn't mean to hurt you."

"...I-I know." Spencer said quietly...almost whimpered.

Sam took hold of Spencer's face and lifted it so they were looking at each other. "I didn't mean to hurt you." He looked at his boyfriend's face; his eyes were red slightly and he had a small steady stream of tears flowing down from them.

"I know." Spencer kept his eyes locked with Sam's. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"What?"

"I know there is something wrong. You looked upset when you came in...and, you are not rough with me. Not like that. So tell me what's bothering you. Please?" Spencer asked and leaned forward, closer to Sam.

"I just...Castiel didn't tell Dean about him having to leave again. Dean doesn't know."

"How do you know he didn't tell him?"

Sam chuckled. "Dean'd be angry, upset...he'd be all over the place, yelling, screaming, crying, you name he'd been doing it. He was laid in bed with Castiel." He told his boyfriend and watched him nod with an understanding expression. "Dean doesn't know, but we _do_. How am I supposed to act like I don't around him. He's gonna be so upset...he's gonna completely break down when he finds out, I know he is. It'll be worse than last time because this'll be the _second_ time he's going to be without him." He said sadly, trying to hold his voice together. "What am I supposed to do?"

Spencer stayed quiet, looking at Sam and thinking about what he had said. "We can't tell him, Sammy." Sam's eyes widened in shock at Spencer. "I know he needs to know...but it's not our place. Castiel needs to be the one tell him, not us."

"But-!"

"Sam, listen to me." Spencer said taking hold of Sam's face. "I know how much you love Dean...but Castiel is the one that's going to have to leave him behind, he's the one that needs to tell Dean. Do you understand?"

Sam nodded, almost reluctantly. "I just don't wanna see him hurt again."

"I know you don't...but when that time comes and Castiel has gone, we'll be here for him and we'll pick up the pieces. Okay?" Spencer said and rested his forehead against Sam's.

* * *

It was a full hour before Dean and Castiel came out of the bedroom and into the living room. Sam and Spencer were already sitting on the sofa, watching TV as they waited for the older boys. Sam had tried to go for them as soon as he had left his bedroom, but Spencer had told him to leave them alone for a while. So he had. Reluctantly.

"Finally." Sam said and climbed off of the sofa. "I did tell you to be up an hour ago." He directed at his brother.

"Shut up, Sammy." Dean said as he walked into the room, Castiel following behind him. "Stop acting like my keeper."

"Whatever." Sam mumbled and sat back down on the sofa, close to Spencer. "So, you said you had a plan." He said to Castiel.

Castiel nodded.

Sam frowned. "Well, what is it?" He snapped.

"Sam! Attitude, stop it." Dean snapped angrily.

"I am going to watch for where Jay is...and when he is going to try something, I am going to stop him." Castiel said and looked away from Sam and Spencer.

"Stop him?" Sam asked. "How?"

"You're going to kill him." Spencer said. He knew that's what the older boys were planning, he just knew it.

Sam's eyes widened. "W-what?" He kneeled on the sofa and turned around, his arms resting against the back of it as he watched his brother and Castiel sit down at the table.

"They're going to kill him, Sam." Spencer told him, his eyes still fixed on the TV.

Castiel frowned slightly and looked at Dean.

"Oh, c'mon Cas, I didn't tell him...I was with you, remember?"

"Then...how did you know?" Castiel asked Spencer.

"I'm very smart and observant..." Spencer started. "And anyway, the man killed you trying to kill Dean. Jay Simmons killed you; Dean is not going to let that slip now he knows the accident wasn't actually an accident. Likewise, he was trying to kill Dean and is still after him hoping to kill him this time around...you have come back to sort it, and the only way to make sure it is sorted for good is to get rid of him for good." He paused. He turned his head to look at the older boys sitting at the table. "Right?"

"I don't..." Sam mumbled as he looked from Spencer to his brother and Castiel and then back to his boyfriend.

Spencer turned back to the TV. "They are going to kill Jay Simmons to protect the other."

"Yeah, I got that Spence..." Sam said quietly. "But Dean...you're talking about _murder_?" He said, his eyes fixed on his brother.

"Sammy, don't start." Dean groaned and looked away from his baby brother.

"_Don't start_!" Sam yelled. "Dean, you're talking about _murdering_ someone. Can't you just...I don' know, tell the cops? Or just beat the fucker up?"

Dean knew Sam was just worried, but he didn't want his brother persuading him to do something other than kill the guy who killed Cas. He loved Sammy, more than anything and he loved Cas more than anything too...this guy killed Cas, if he didn't get rid of him who's to say he wouldn't come after Sam as well as him? "Sammy, please. Just..._don't_. Please." He asked softly, his eyes pleading with Sam to drop it.

"But Dean-!" Sam started, he stopped when he felt Spencer's hand tug at his jeans.

"Sam, just...not now. Drop it." Spencer looked up at his boyfriend. "Please."

Sam sighed and flopped onto the sofa, his arms crossed over his chest. "Fine."

Spencer smiled softly, almost sadly; he could tell Sam was worried about his brother...and his brother's boyfriend. He leaned over to Sam and pressed his lips gently to Sam's. "I think we should leave for a little while."

Sam was too in shock about the fact that Spencer had kissed him in front of his brother and Castiel to actually say anything...and he followed when Spencer took his hand and led him towards the door.

"We'll be out for a while so you can both discuss what you're planning to do without us interrupting you. But...I think it would be best for you to at least phone Sam if you find anything out...just so he knows what's going on." Spencer said, looking at Dean.

Dean wanted nothing more than to tell the kid to shut up, that he knew what to do...but he knew Spencer was right. He knew he had to keep Sam in the loop...and he knew Spencer had known he wasn't going to...and now the little brat had said something, Castiel would make sure he phoned Sam and told him what was going on. "I will." He told the younger boy.

Spencer smiled quickly and gratefully before turning back to Sam and leaving.

It was a few minutes later before either one of them spoke. "So, we gonna get started?"

Castiel turned to look at Dean, a soft and sort of sad look on his face. "Yes. I guess...we should."

"Hey, come on, it's okay." Dean smiled and pulled Cas closer to him. He kissed his boyfriend's cheek quickly, squeezing his arm around his shoulder tightly before standing and walking towards the kitchen. "You want something to eat before we start looking for that guy?"

"Erm...I...I do not feel hunger anymore, Dean." Castiel said quietly and carefully.

Dean paused, but didn't say or do anything else. Cas didn't need to eat anymore? Yeah, he was part..._angel_...but he was still part human. Shouldn't he need to eat? A moment later he walked into the kitchen and made himself some breakfast...not feeling right that he hadn't made Cas anything like he used to.

* * *

"That bastard!" Dean yelled as he shot to his feet, his chair falling to the floor.

Castiel looked away from the image displayed in front of them and up to Dean. They had been watching what Jay had done up to the accident –or murder- and they had just watched him pay a bunch of guys to take out Dean...the only problem was, was that he had shown them a picture of Sam and Spencer. He hadn't understood why Jay had shown the men the two young boys instead of himself and Dean, at first...but now he did. "He not only wants to get rid of you...but everyone you have left."

Dean turned and looked down at Castiel. "Yeah..."

Castiel watched his boyfriend closely with worried eyes as he moved away from the table and over to the kitchen, snatching his cell phone and dialling a number. He knew who Dean was calling...there was only one person his blond boyfriend would need to talk to at a time like this.

"Sammy...yeah, it's me." Dean went quiet and then groaned with a hint of annoyance to it –but Castiel could see the worry. "Shut up, man, listen to me...you have to come home. Yeah, you an' Spencer...I'll explain when you get here. Just do it Sam!" He paused again, listening to his baby brother. "Thanks...yeah, see y' soon." He dropped the phone back onto the counter and walked back over to Castiel.

"He is coming home?" Castiel asked, his eyes following Dean's movements as he leaned against the table.

"Yeah..."

"Dean...I am sorry..." Castiel knew somewhere in the back of his mind that what he had been thinking while watching Jay's movements through time was wrong and impossible...but he couldn't help but think this way, especially now that he knew that he was the reason Sam and Spencer had been hurt...and of course, why Dean was in danger.

Dean blinked a few times as he looked down at Cas. "What?"

Castiel looked at him with tear-filled eyes. "I am sorry..."

"Yeah, I heard that...but what for?"

Castiel looked away, his eyes landed on a random place on the table. "I am the reason Jay is after you, the reason he hurt Sam and hospitalized Spencer...it is my fault. Maybe...maybe if I had let him do what he was trying to that time...this would not be happening, I would be alive and _human_ and would have more than three days left and you would not be getting hurt and having to worry about me and where Sam and Spencer are and-!"

"Cas! Stop it..." Dean said quickly and loudly. He pulled Cas' face to look at him...he had seen the tears dripping from his face and onto the table, they were falling from his eyes furiously. "This is not your fault! Don't you dare think that. This is all _his_ fault, understand? Why would you even think that?" He asked softly. He moved his face closer to Cas', pressing their foreheads together. "Don't...just...please, don't say things like that. Don't even think like that. _Please_."

"O-okay..." Castiel whimpered, his hands fisting into Dean's shirt.

"Thanks." Dean smiled softly. He pecked his lips to Cas'.

* * *

End of chapter 8!

Thanks for reading and stuff!

I know this chapter isn't brilliant, its not even that good really...it was supposed to be longer and more detailed and stuff, but once I wrote this (the first draft) I just got stuck and couldn't write anything else. So, sorry. Anyways the next chapter will be better, I promise! I did chec this but it was a little while ago, so sorry for any mistakes.

There's only going to be two or three more chaps of this fic (although there's only like two or three people who read it, lol.)


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: The Truth.

Sam kicked off his sneakers and pulled Spencer into the living room by the hand, their fingers wound together. He stopped close to the sofa and pulled Spencer so he was standing behind him before he cleared his throat. He watched, slightly amused, as Dean and Castiel pulled away from each other.

"S-Sammy, how the hell'd you get in without making any noise?" Dean asked, standing up from his chair but keeping his hands on Castiel's hips –the half-angel was sat on the table with Dean now in-between his legs.

"We did make noise. We made sure the door slammed-..." Spencer started, looking at Dean and Castiel from around Sam's shoulder...his cheeks turning red at seeing the older boys' position.

"Just in-case you were doing something." Sam said, finishing Spencer's sentence. His eyes roamed around his brother and his boyfriend...narrowing in annoyance; he couldn't believe Castiel was letting Dean continue how things would be if he was staying for good...not a few days. He took a deep breath. "Dean, there's something you need to know."

"What?" Dean asked, a confused frown marring his face. "Oh, yeah, there's something we got t' tell you too. Those guys who ganged up on you both..._that_ guy sent them. He knew who you both were, obviously, so me an' Cas think-..."

"That he's after us to get at you. Yeah, we figured that." Sam said callously. "But...there's somethin' more important than that that you need to know."

Dean looked at his brother, his confusion deepening as he saw Spencer grip tightly at Sam's upper arm and shake his head. "Well, what is it?"

Sam looked at Castiel, seeing only worry and fear in his usually intense blue eyes. "Castiel isn't-!" He was cut off when Spencer pulled on his arm, turning him around to face him.

"Sam, _don't_; I told you it's not your place!" Spencer told him, a slightly angry look on his face –that Dean didn't understand, he had never seen Spencer mad at his brother.

"It is!" Sam snapped at him and pulled away from his boyfriend roughly.

"Sammy..." Dean said softly; as much as he thought Spencer was a geek, he loved his brother...and he didn't like seeing Sam how he was been now, he knew he would only regret it later.

"Don't! Just...just shut up and listen. Castiel isn't back for good...he's here for three days and today is the second!" Sam told his brother. _'Sort of, I think.' _He knew Castiel had been back for one night and today was the first day...but he didn't know how his time back on earth was going to work, and he had a feeling Cas didn't either.

"What?" Dean asked, his confusion turning to disbelief.

"He's not back for-!"

"I heard, Sam!" Dean yelled. He looked at his boyfriend. "Cas...w-what's he talking 'bout?"

Castiel had tears brimming in his eyes. "I-I...I-I-I do not know..." He said quietly, not looking at Dean's face.

Dean let his head fall back, tears falling from his eyes. He had known it was too good to be true...he had just ignored that he knew Cas couldn't have come back from the dead to just be with him. He shouldn't have ignored it...he just wanted Cas back. He wanted _his_ Castiel back. "Don't lie to me, Castiel."

Castiel actually flinched at the way Dean said his name, not only did he hardly call him by his full name...but he never said it quite so sadly and harshly. He swallowed thickly. "I...I-I...I am so sorry." His hands fisted in Dean's shirt. "I was going to tell you, I swear I was!"

Dean looked back at Sam. "Then why did you lie to me!"

"I was not lying! I was...I did not want to upset you. I had watched what you went through the first time...I could not be here and watch you go through it again. I could not do that!" Castiel said loudly, his tears rolling furiously down his cheeks.

"You couldn't go through that? I deserved to know!" Dean yelled, moving his face closer to Cas'.

Castiel swallowed thickly. "I know you did...but...I could not hurt you like that, not again."

Dean knew that if he stayed here he would explode; he would say things to Cas that he didn't mean, things he would never be able to take back. He hadn't realised he had been gripping to Cas' hips so tightly until he let go and took a step away from his crying boyfriend. "Just...I'll be back in a bit." He said and moved quickly away from Cas.

"Dean!" Sam yelled as his brother shot past him and Spencer, he turned around to watch Dean put his shoes on and slam the door behind him as he left. He looked back to Spencer, hoping to see an understanding expression like he so often did...instead of an angry one.

"Now look what you've done." Spencer said and moved over to Castiel. He stood in front of the older boy, who was looking down at the ground. "Castiel? Hey, don't worry...Dean will calm down, he'll forgive you." He gently placed his hands at each side of Castiel's face and lifted it up, so they could directly look at each other.

"But how long will that take? I only have two days left...one if it does not work out how I hope." Castiel told him, tears streaking his face.

Spencer gave him a sad and apologetic look. "Maybe...you should rest. C'mon, I'll take you to Dean's room." He let go of Cas' face and took hold of his hand. He stepped back, giving Castiel room to slide off the table before they headed towards Dean's room.

* * *

"Thank you for staying with me, but it is okay...I am okay." Castiel said, looking at Spencer –he was laid on his back in the middle of Dean's bed, while Spencer sat next to him. "You can go to Sam."

Spencer shook his head.

"You are sulking?"

"I am not." Spencer said and then sighed. "Sam shouldn't have done what he did."

"No...but I do not blame him; I am not mad at him. Dean is his brother and he loves him very much, he did not want to see him hurt again. I understand." Castiel said, he pushed himself into a sitting position and looked at Spencer. "You should not be angry either. He is probably upset and mad at himself enough for the both of us...you should go to him."

"I will..." Spencer smiled softly, almost sadly. "But I don't think you should be left alone."

"I told you, I am fine. Now go to Sam." Castiel said and shoved gently at the younger boy's arm.

Spencer nodded and climbed off of the bed. "Just...Dean will come back soon, so just wait for him, 'kay?" He watched Castiel nod before he left the bedroom.

Castiel smiled softly and then laid back down on the bed. All he could smell was Dean...he wanted his boyfriend back, he wanted his friend back. He needed Dean. He closed his eyes and begged for sleep...and for Dean to hurry back; he didn't have much time left.

* * *

"Sammy?" Spencer said quietly as he walked into the living room. He stood in front of his boyfriend who was sat with his face in his hands. "Sammy, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you...it wasn't my place to tell you to keep out of it, Dean is your brother and you have known Castiel...well, for as long as you have Dean. I was the one who should have just kept quiet and-uh..." He stopped talking when Sam's arms wrapped around his bum and pulled him close, burying his face into Spencer's abdomen. They stayed like that in silence for a few minutes before Spencer spoke up. "Sam..."

"I hurt him." Sam cried. "I told him because I wanted Cas to tell him...I didn't want him to get hurt when he left...but I told him...and he was hurt anyway...I hurt him, Spence, I hurt Dean..." He cried harder, his arms pulling Spencer closer and closer into his body.

"Shhh, Sam it's okay." Spencer said quietly and lifted his left hand to run it through Sam's hair, his right hand stroked at his back. "Castiel isn't mad at you...and Dean isn't either."

"Yeah? How do you know?" Sam snapped.

Spencer's hands stilled. "Sam..." He paused and swallowed thickly; he loved Sam...but he didn't need him snapping at him, not when he was just trying to help. "He's your brother...and deep down, he's probably happy you told him...at least he knows now, right? Wouldn't you want to know...even if it was your brother who told you instead of your boyfriend?"

Sam pushed his face further against Spencer, gripping tighter at his thin body. "I can't..." He gasped...his arms tightened even further around Spencer, his hands now gripping tightly at his hips. "I can't...I _won't_ lose you. Ever. I _can't_!"

"Oh, Sammy...I'm not..." Spencer leaned forward, bending his body as he rested his forehead on Sam's head. "I'm not going to leave you."

"...I know..." Sam whispered. He unwrapped his arms from around Spencer and lifted the front of his shirt up a little. He pressed his lips to the flat smooth skin. "You promise?" He kissed his boyfriend's stomach, lifting the shirt up more as he trailed higher up, leaving a trail of wet opened mouth kisses.

Spencer moaned quietly, his hand fisted in Sam's hair. "Y-yes, I-I promise."

"Tell me why you won't leave me." Sam said and started to kiss down towards Spencer's trousers. His hands gripped tighter at his boyfriend's hips as he waited for him to speak. After a few moments he looked up -with how Spencer was curled over him, he was looking at his chest. "Tell me." He whispered before pressing his lips to the shirt covered chest.

Spencer's hand tightened in Sam's hair and his arm tightened around his shoulders. "Because...I love you. Do you think you're the only one that worries about been left behind?"

Sam kissed Spencer's chest again; he remembered Spencer saying that to him before. He pulled Spencer onto his lap and looked into his eyes. "I love you too."

* * *

Dean was wondering down a street, he didn't know where he was because he hadn't been paying attention to where he was going. He didn't care. He wanted to go home...he wanted to go back to Cas, to _his_ Castiel. But...he couldn't. Cas...had lied to him. To _him_! He didn't understand why Cas would lie to him. Didn't he know he would rather know the truth about what was going to happen...rather than believe his boyfriend was back for good? He loved Cas more than anything, and been able to have him back for three days would have been a godsend to him...but to believe he was back for good when he wasn't...well, something inside Dean was saying he would rather Cas have not come back at all.

He shook his head; that wasn't true. He needed Cas, he always had. He wanted Cas.

He ran a hand over his face as tears started to well up in his eyes. He needed Cas. He knew what he was going to do now...he was going to find out where he was, figure out how to get home, ask Cas why he didn't just tell him he had to leave, probably cuddle his boyfriend as they cried, then he was going to make love to Cas probably for the last time and then he was going lay next to his boyfriend in his bed until he had to leave.

He liked the sound of that.

He turned to set off down the street, but stopped as someone stood in front of him covered in shadow from the darkness of the night. He frowned deeply. "Who the hell're you?"

"You don't remember me, Dean Winchester?"

Dean's eyes widened; the voice was so familiar...but aged.

"I remember you...and that hot thing you were screwing." The man said.

Dean's eyes narrowed in anger; he knew who it was...and he wasn't going to have this little bastard talk about Castiel, at all. "You!" He lunged for the man.

* * *

Castiel's eyes flew open. Something was wrong. He quickly shut his eyes and looked for Dean, for where he was and what he was doing –Kyle had also taught him how to watch who he wanted in his mind, so only he could see.

He could see Dean wandering down streets, not looking where he was going and not caring where he ended up. Dean suddenly stopped...and so did the man following him. He could tell the man behind Dean was Jay, he didn't know how –he was wearing a big black coat and a hood that covered his face-, he just could. He watched as Dean threw himself at the man, his fist slamming into his face...but Jay hit him back. They started fighting in the empty, dark street.

He had to get there.

He threw himself out of the bed and ran from the bedroom. He ignored the two naked boys moaning and grinding on the sofa. He shoved his feet into his shoes but didn't bother with his trench coat.

Sam looked up from Spencer as he heard the front door open. "Cas?" He watched Castiel leave the apartment and shut the door. He smiled; he figured Cas was going to get Dean and make things right.

"Ah, Sam!" Spencer moaned.

Sam turned his attention back to his boyfriend.

* * *

Castiel was running around frantically, he didn't know where Dean was...he wasn't in the street where he had watched him and Jay start fighting, and he couldn't see where he was now. "Damn it!" He kept looking around, down every street, in every alleyway...but he couldn't find him. "Dean! Dean!" He ran his hands through his rain soaked hair. Tears of frustration ran down his face. "DEAN!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

* * *

End of chapter 9!

Thanks for reading and stuff...would love to know what everyone thinks about it and stuff :D


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: Fading Away.

"DEAN!" Castiel screamed at the top of his voice.

He fell down to his knees, not even feeling the sharp pain that shot up from his knees to his thighs and up his spine as his knees cracked down against the hard, cold pavement. He knew it hurt, but he hadn't felt it. All he could feel was the sharp ache in his chest. He needed to find Dean. He had to find Dean. _His _Dean.

He had to get to him before Jay hurt him. What if Jay had hurt him already? What was he going to do? How was he going to save Dean and get rid of Jay so he couldn't hurt him, Sam or Spencer when he was gone? He hadn't even really thought about how to stop Jay. But he did know he'd do whatever it took to keep Dean safe. But...how was he going to find them? Where would Jay take Dean?

"I do not know what to do." He whispered. He looked up to the sky, tears streaming down his face. "I do not know what to do!" He yelled. "I do not know what to do." His hand curled into a fist against the concrete pavement. He shut his eyes as tears rolled down his face faster and harsher and then down to the floor. "I cannot save Dean. I cannot save him!"

"Wow, I didn't expect y' to give up on your love."

Castiel looked up from the ground, his eyes widening when he saw the blond haired boy standing in front of him, a soft and sad-ish smile on his face. "Kyle?"

* * *

"Urgh..." Dean moaned as he started to come around. What the hell-? His head was pounding. His head didn't hurt like this even when he had a major hangover. What the hell had he been up to?

_"I was not lying! I was...I did not want to upset you. I had watched what you went through the first time...I could not be here and watch you go through it again. I could not do that!"_

Castiel. Cas had lied to him. Cas was leaving him. Again.

No. That wasn't the last thing he remembered. After he left the apartment and walked around aimlessly for a while he had decided to go back home and talk to Cas...but...what had happened then? Jay! That little bastard had jumped him! So...where was he?

His eyes shot open. He had to blink again, and then a few more times for his eyes to adjust to the dimly lit room...or rather basement. He looked around quickly, not liking the pain that shot through his head as he moved his neck. He was defiantly in a basement...or maybe a warehouse. Now that he thought about it as he glanced around, it was more likely to be a warehouse. He had spent time in them when he was younger and his father had had to take him to work...so he recognised similar things. Yeah, this place was defiantly a warehouse.

"So, you're finally awake."

Dean's eyes roamed the room, looking for where the voice had come from. He quickly spotted Jay walking towards him, something in his hand he couldn't identify because of the lack of light.

"I still can't believe he chose a fuckin' pussie like you! You can't even defend y'self, never mind protectin' him!" Jay said as he stopped in front of Dean, and then crouched down.

Dean scoffed. "Untie me and you'll see just how much I can protect him."

Jay chuckled. "Y' talking like he's still here! He's dead! All because you couldn't save him!" He yelled.

That's when Dean realised Jay had no clue Cas was back. "He died because you fucking killed him!" He yelled at the top of his voice.

Jay's face twisted in anger and he shot to his feet. He launched his foot into Dean's stomach. "He wasn't supposed to be in the car with you!" He kicked Dean again...and then again.

"Bastard." Dean chocked. "Why wouldn't...he be with me?" He asked and looked up at Jay, grinning. "He's _mine_. He'll always be with _me_."

Jay ground his teeth and slammed his foot into Dean's stomach again.

Dean let Jay kick him. He was trying to get his hands free from the rope tying them together. He watched as Jay raised his arm...and realised what he was holding. A baseball bat.

* * *

"Kyle?"

"Hey, Castiel." Kyle smiled his sad and soft smile.

"W-what are you doing here?" Castiel asked, looking up at him through tearful eyes.

Kyle knelt down in-front of Castiel and gently cupped his face. "I'm here t' help. I've been keeping an eye on you and your love...and I saw you giving up...that made me sad." The blond said, his voice and expression showing Castiel just how upset he was about it all.

"But I...there is nothing I can do..." Castiel said as the tears started to roll again.

"Yes, there is."

"What? What can I do? I do not even know where Jay has taken him. I cannot save Dean, I cannot keep Sam and Spencer safe...I cannot save Dean!" Castiel said loudly, his hands gripping at Kyle's t-shirt. Vaguely, Castiel looked at Kyle; the blond was wearing a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans...but the shirt had holes in it. He looked up to Kyle's face, who was looking at his.

Kyle smiled softly. "When...if you come back down here after dying, you come back in the cloths you left in. These are what I was wearing when I died." His thumbs rubbed gently at Castiel's cheeks. "We have more important things to discuss."

"Wha-?" Castiel started but stopped when Kyle leaned closer to him, his lips close to his ear.

"I know where Dean is..." Kyle started, whispering as if they were in a crowded room and only Castiel could know what he was saying.

Castiel listened to Kyle as he whispered into his ear...and his eyes widened.

* * *

Dean rolled over onto his back, breathing heavily and raggedly. Jay had only just left him...after smashing the baseball bat against his ribs and legs. He was glad that the psycho's phone had started ringing and he had only hit him about three times with the bat. If he wasn't tied up, he would have kicked his ass...no, he would have fucking killed him. Not because he had locked him in a basement and hit him with a bat, because he had killed Cas, because he had tried to rape Cas all that time ago, because he had sent adult men after Sammy and Spencer, because not only had he killed Cas but he was going to kill him too.

Damn it. He needed to get out of here. He needed to get to Castiel. How long did he have left? Had he been back three days already? Or was it two? He couldn't tell how long Cas had been here, he hadn't been counting the days, and he had been too happy that Cas was back...the time had just become a blur.

He sighed, a sharp pain running through his ribs as he did. He was sure at least one of his ribs was broken. He scrunched his eyes shut. _'Damn it, Cas. I'm sorry...I'm sorry...' _

He was dragged from his thoughts as he heard the doors open, sunlight shine through, momentarily blinding him and then the doors slam shut. He heard Jay's footsteps approaching him...and the metal baseball bat scrapping across the floor.

"You'll pay for taking him from me." Jay said, in a low threatening tone.

Dean breathed in and out heavily, a grin playing at his lips. "Like I said...before...Castiel Novak is and always will be..._mine_." He could see the moment Jay's face contorted in anger...and it only made his grin turn into a huge smirk. He didn't care what Jay did to him, he had told the truth, Cas was his...in this life and the next one...and whatever happened after that, Castiel would always belong to him.

Jay lifted the bat and swung it down towards Dean's body.

* * *

"That's all you have to do, Castiel, and then your love and those kids will be safe when you come back up." Kyle told him, his hands still cupping Castiel's face as he looked into the other's wide, usually intense, blue eyes.

"But...if I do that, will I still be able to go back up there?" Castiel asked.

"Would it matter if you couldn't?"

Castiel stared at Kyle as the question ran through his mind...and he realised he really didn't care whether he could go back up to the _in-between _and then into _heaven_, Dean and Sam and even Spencer would be safe if he did this...and that was all that mattered. "No...no, I would not care...as long as they were all safe, I would not care."

Kyle smiled softly at him, tears filling his eyes. "I just knew you'd say that." He leaned forward and kissed Castiel's forehead. "You will be able to come back, no matter what you do. And when you do come back, there's someone I want you to meet." He pulled away and looked into Castiel's eyes. "Now go, your love needs you." He smiled...and then vanished.

Castiel swallowed hard and slowly climbed to his feet. He knew where Jay was. He knew where Dean was. He knew where he was going. And he knew what he was going to do.

* * *

The bat swung down towards Dean, but before it could hit him, Dean moved quickly, kicking Jay's feet out from under him and knocking him to the floor. He'd already decided he didn't care what Jay eventually did to him, but he wasn't going to just lay there and let him do it easily.

He stretched his leg out and kicked the bat away from Jay and himself. He kicked his legs up and then down, swinging himself forward into a sitting position. He quickly got to his feet...and kicked Jay in the face, who had been struggling to get to his feet. He kicked him again, before stomping his foot down onto his face.

Jay cried out in pain, and Dean realised he could do this all day...but he needed his hands free. He looked around for something he could quickly get his wrists untied...but Jay took the opportunity. Jay reached out and gripped the handle of the bat and swung it at Dean's legs, making him cry out in shock and pain and fall to the ground. Jay was on his feet and standing over Dean, a twisted angry look on his face. "You bastard!" He swung the bat at Dean's legs, then his ribs, shouting at him all the while.

Dean kicked out, trying to hit Jay, but he just whacked him with the bat harder. "You can't just leave it with killing Cas! You have to kill us both!"

Jay paused momentarily, his anger deepening. "I didn't kill him! I didn't kill him!" He kept shouting as the bat hit Dean in the face, then the ribs again and his legs, over and over...

Until the doors blew open and slammed against the inner walls. Jay turned and looked...he dropped the bat immediately. "H-how? T-t-this is impossible. H-h-how-?" He stumbled a few steps forward.

"I am sorry, but I will not be here for much longer...and I will not allow you to do this ever again!"

Dean knew it was Castiel's voice, how could he not? He loved that voice. But...his vision was blurry; he couldn't see anything but blurred colours.

"But you can't be here! You're dead!" Jay shouted, his voice was trembling with both fear and sadness.

"Yes, I am, because of you." Castiel said almost softly. He held his hand out, palm forward, towards Jay.

The last thing Dean saw was the brightest white light and a scream of pure fear from Jay's mouth...before everything went black.

* * *

Jay's hands were covering his face in a defensive position. He was looking, but he could tell the white light was gone. He slowly moved his hands and his eyes fell on the two boys standing a little ways in front of him. They were both dressed in white robes, the shorter one had blond hair and the other had short black hair, they were holding hands.

"You hurt my friend. And then you had the cheek to hurt his love." The blond said, in a soft but somehow cold tone. "You're goin' to pay for that."

Jay just frowned at the blond. He watched as the blond pointed to him and then down to the floor, which was white, just like everything else. But...suddenly he was falling, the whiteness was fading away, as were the two boys, and he was falling into the blackness.

"In hell, you'll be the one to feel pain." He could hear the blond's voice as he fell deeper and deeper into the darkness.

* * *

As Dean started to come around, he could hear voices, familiar voices...they sounded far away, but he listened.

"I...I-I don't know what I'm supposed to say." Sam. That was Sammy's voice.

"Then...you do not have to say anything." That voice belonged to Castiel. "Just know...that I will miss you." His voice was sad and quiet, just like it got when he was crying but didn't want anyone to know.

Dean could hear Sam sniffling and then chocked out a, "I'm gonna miss you, too!", Before the sounds became a little muffled and he knew they were hugging.

He was sure it sounded like they were saying goodbye...and then he realised, Cas had to leave again. Was he leaving without saying goodbye to him? Would he really do that?

"I...I need to go see Dean." Castiel said lowly, and Dean stopped panicking.

"Sammy, c'mon, you said you wanted to say bye so they could spend time together." Dean heard Spencer say softly to his brother.

"Yeah...yeah. Love you, Cas."

Dean opened his eyes slowly and realised he was in his bedroom. He heard the front door slam shut...and then suddenly his bedroom door was opening. He looked over to the door and sighed happily as he saw Cas in his familiar white shirt, black tie and trousers and his trench coat in his hand. "Hey," Dean smiled.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel said quietly. He dropped his coat onto the floor and slowly made his way to the bed, sitting next to Dean. "How are you feeling?"

Dean frowned lightly, realising he had been hit with a baseball bat...and he wasn't hurting. Anywhere. "I feel fine, actually." He pushed himself up into a sitting position. "I don't hurt, at all." He smiled widely.

Castiel smiled lightly at him. "That is because I made it so you would not hurt. Kyle told me how to do it."

"Oh. So your friend was here?" Dean asked and watched Castiel nod. "So...erm, what was with the bright light?"

Castiel stayed quiet for a moment before answering his boyfriend's question. "It was what I used to send Jay to the in-between where Jay was waiting for him...a-and sent him t-t-to hell." He only glanced at Dean nervously out of the corner of his eyes. What if he was mad at him for doing such a thing?

"Really?" Dean asked, and noticed Castiel was suddenly acting nervously. He took hold of his boyfriend's hand and squeezed tightly. "That's amazing, Cas. You really did save me." He smiled, tugging on Castiel's hand, pulling him closer.

Castiel turned to look at Dean. "You are not mad at me?"

Dean scoffed and then smiled at him. "You think I'd be mad at you for saving me? And Sammy, an' even Spencer?" He leaned forward and kissed Cas' cheek. "I'm proud of you." He kissed Cas again, this time at the corner of his lips. "I love you."

"I love you." Castiel said, quietly. He leaned closer to Dean, letting his boyfriend press his lips against his own. It was only a quick kiss, before Dean pulled away and stared into Cas' eyes.

"Y'know that, right? You know I love you." Dean said quietly, pulling Cas onto his lap. His hands gripped tightly at Cas' waist.

"Of course I know. I know you do." Castiel leaned down, his forehead pressed against Dean's. "I know you do." He kissed Dean quickly, but sweetly on the lips. "I love you...there is...can we..." He said quietly, and rolled his hips to show Dean what it was he was talking about.

Dean ran his hands up and down Castiel's sides. "I was goin' to ask you the same thing." He smiled, and kissed Castiel.

* * *

It was only moments later when Castiel was laid on his back in the middle of the bed with Dean on top of him, their lips pressed together and their hands slowly undressing the other.

Dean pulled away slightly, breathing deeply. "I don't want to ruin the mood...I love you," He grinned softly. "And you know I like it when we do it slow...but..." His grin eased away from his lips. "But...do we have time...to go slow?"

Castiel stared into Dean's green eyes, seeing only hurt. He smiled softly. "Yes, we have time to be together however you want us to be." He said moving his hands from pulling Dean's t-shirt up at the back to his face, cupping it gently. "I-I will not..._leave_ until we have finished saying goodbye." He said as tears filled his eyes. He pulled on Dean's face gently and pressed their lips together.

Dean kissed back hard, opened mouthed and wet. He pulls away when he knows Cas needs to breath; he's always the one that needs air first. He stared down at his boyfriend's face...and he knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help but say it. "And what if I don't ever want to finish saying goodbye?"

Tears welled up in Castiel's eyes again. "Then I will leave...with us not saying goodbye...and I do not want to leave like that..." He said quietly, his hands gripping tightly at Dean's shoulders.

"I know..." Dean said and pressed his lips to Cas' forehead. "You won't have to. We'll talk later...right now, _I want you_." He smiled.

Castiel returned his smile. "I want you, too." He wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and slowly rolled his hips, rubbing their groins together. "I want you in me."

"All you had to do was say." Dean grinned, their little conversation forgotten for the moment. He crashed his lips against Cas' and quickly discarded his clothes. He ran his hands up and down Castiel's naked sides before starting to undo his belt and trousers. Not once did the kiss break.

Castiel pulled Dean's t-shirt up to his shoulders and left it there, not wanting to break their heated kiss. He ran his hands up and down the smooth skin of his boyfriend's back, before scrapping his short nails up his back.

Dean's mouth opened wider against Castiel's, their tongues meeting and rubbing together. He grinded down against Cas.

Castiel gasped, breaking their kiss. "We-...ah!" He moaned as Dean rubbed against him.

"Lift y' hips." Dean said into Cas' mouth. As Cas raised his hips up off of the bed, he gripped at his boyfriend's trousers and boxers and pulled them down to his knees, letting Cas kick them off the rest of the way. While he was knelt up, he lifted his shirt over his head and chucked it onto the floor, and then pushed his jeans –that Cas had already undone- and underwear down. He laid back down on Castiel, and groaned as their naked and hardening cocks rubbed together.

He couldn't wait much longer. He really couldn't. Dean ran his left hand down Cas' stomach, ghosting it over his hardened member, smirking when his boyfriend gasped at the slight contact. He slipped his hand in-between Cas' legs and quickly found his opening.

"Oh go-ah!" Castiel gasped loudly as Dean's finger slid into him slowly. "D-Dean..."

Dean ran his free hand up Cas' stomach and smiled when his boyfriend took hold of it, gripping at it tightly. "So beautiful, Cas." He said as he stared at Cas' face, his chest rising and falling as he panted, and Dean's eyes lowered, looking at Castiel's hard, weeping manhood and then at his own finger slipping in and out of his lovers body.

"Ah...ah...ah..." Castiel moaned. His eyes locked with Dean's. "Stop...you do n-not have to k-keep...want you i-in me..."

"But-..."

"_P-p-please_, Dean."

Dean nodded and pulled his fingers out of Cas' body. He pushed his boyfriend's legs further apart before lining himself up with Cas' entrance. He leaned over Cas, their faces only inches apart. At the same moment he said, "I love you so much.", he pushed his hard cock into Cas.

Castiel gasped and moaned out loudly, his back arching up from the bed.

Dean waited until he bottomed out inside Cas, before he paused for him to get used to been full. "Just tell me when y' ready." He said quietly, practically whispering; god, he wanted to move so bad. He hoped Cas got used to the feeling soon...because he really didn't know how long he could hold out.

"Move."

Dean frowned; he had only just stopped, and Cas was okay? Already?

"Dean...please..."

Dean nodded slowly and then pulled almost all the way out of Cas before pushing back in, hard. He pulled out and pushed back in again and again, before he crashed his lips to Cas' full parted ones. As Dean's pace picked up, pushing into Cas harder and harder, their bodies rubbing together, their tongues met and their kiss turned dirty and wet.

Castiel's back arched off the bed...and he knew he was close. He took hold of Dean's hand and led it to his weeping, aching length. He was glad Dean knew what was wrong and gripped his cock straight away, because he really didn't want their kiss to end. Not yet.

Dean tugged at Cas' cock, still pounding into him. He pulled his mouth from Cas', pressing his forehead to his boyfriend's. "'M gonna cum. You ready?" He watched as Castiel nodded and sighed as his arms tightened around his neck. "Love you. Love you. Love you." He repeated as he pulled on Cas' length one more time before he came in Dean's hand and on their stomach's. It was only a second or so later when Dean released inside of Cas.

"I love you."

* * *

Dean tightened his arms around Cas' body. "So...what happens now?"

Castiel snuggled closer to Dean, kissing at the base of his neck, where his head was resting. "When Kyle told me how to stop Jay and fix you up if you were hurt...he said I would get a feeling, deep inside me...and I would know it was time to go."

Dean swallowed. "So, you choose to leave? When you get this _feeling_?" He sighed when he felt Cas shake his head against the crook of his neck; if Cas was the one who chose to leave...then maybe they had a way around it, a way for Castiel to stay. He knew he would have been wrong, but he had let his hopes get up just for a second...only for them to come crashing down. He had to come to terms with the fact that Cas was leaving again, that he couldn't stop it. He probably only had hours to do that, it could even just be minutes. He gripped tighter at Cas, pulling him even closer to his own body.

"Kyle said I would just...simply fade away." Castiel said quietly, almost distantly.

"_Fade away_?" Dean chocked out, tears filling his eyes. "You're going to fucking _fade away_?"

Castiel pulled away slightly and looked up at Dean's face. His heart broke, he was making Dean cry...again. "Dean. Dean, it is not like that. I will go back to the in-between; that is all."

"But..."

Castiel smiled softly and wiped at Dean's eyes, pressing a quick, soft kiss to his lips. "It...it will all be fine."

"Cas...don't. Just...it's not goin' to be fine; you're leaving."

"But you will have Sam...and Sam has Spencer, so I may not be here...but you have Sammy and Spencer. They will look after you, and you will look after them." Castiel said softly, leaning closer to Dean. "There is nothing either of us can do...that will change what is going to happen."

Dean swallowed the huge lump in his throat and buried his face in Cas' dark hair. "I know." He sobbed.

* * *

They had been laid together silently for a few hours, just holding each other and sharing soft passionate kisses...when Castiel felt a strange dull tingling feeling deep in his stomach. His eyes widened for a few moments before he shut them and let the tears roll down his face.

He gripped tightly at Dean before looking up at his boyfriend's soft expression...and watched it change to worry.

"Cas?"

"Dean...it is time."

Dean stared into Cas' eyes, tears filling his own. His arms tightened around Cas and held him close, still staring into his eyes. "I love you."

"And I love you."

"Are you scared?" Dean asked quietly; he didn't want to ask, but he needed to know...he needed to know if Cas was as scared as he was.

Castiel shook his head. "I am not scared." He took hold of Dean's face gently. "And there is nothing for you to be scared of either...so please, do not be scared. Please."

Dean closed his eyes for only a second, but when he opened them they widened. "Cas...Cas, y-y-you're-...look!" He said as he stared at Cas' face; his boyfriend was literally fading away...he was slowly becoming transparent.

"Huh...I am fading..." Castiel said slowly as he looked at himself. He looked back at Dean with a sad expression and took hold of his face again, pulling his face closer to his own. "Remember...I love you, Dean Winchester, and I always have. And will always. But...I want you to be happy, even if I am not here." He kissed Dean softly, sweetly, slowly. "And know...I will be waiting for you, no matter how long it takes." He smiled softly.

Dean stared at Cas, his boyfriend was barely visible anymore. "I love you, Castiel." He pressed his lips to Cas', mimicking the sweet kiss they had just shared. "An' trust me, you won't have wait for me long." He saw the confused look on Castiel's face...and then he was gone. "Cas..." He said quietly, his hand touching the mattress where his boyfriend had been just moments ago...it was so warm. "Cas." He sobbed and rolled face first onto Castiel's side of the bed, crying as he soaked up the warmth his boyfriend left behind.

* * *

Castiel opened his eyes slowly...and all he saw was white. He pushed himself up into a sitting position and just stared off into the white.

"Castiel."

He turned his head at the familiar voice, and saw Kyle was standing a ways behind him, holding hands with a dark haired boy who looked a little older than him. He realised he had seen the dark haired boy before...he had seen him in Kyle's past, it was the boy he was in love with, the one he never got to kiss. Aaron. He distantly realised that if Aaron was here, he was now dead.

He looked at Kyle and Aaron for a few moments, before turning back around to look into the never ending white. It wasn't fair. Kyle had Aaron now. He had just had to leave Dean. Again. And now he was alone up here too.

"Castiel..." Kyle said again.

Castiel ignored him.

Kyle sighed softly. "You can keep a watch over him." He said softly, carefully. "Let's give him some time, Aaron, then I'll introduce you properly."

Castiel knew they had left...and couldn't help but wave his hand in front of him and watch what Dean was doing now. He broke down in tears as he watched his boyfriend lay on his side of the bed, crying. He took a deep breath and smiled softly as he watched Sam enter the bedroom with Spencer standing at the door. "You will be fine, Dean. You will _always_ be fine."

* * *

End of chapter 10!

Thanks for reading! And I am so, so, so, so, so sorry it took so long to update...I've just read all the house of night -the ones that are out now- books in like 3 weeks, which is incredibly good for me, lol. But I'm going to upload the epilogue now, and then later in the week I'm going to upload an extra chapter...it's going to be of dean and castiel's first time/how they got together. And there is going to be a sequel/prequel thing...but it's going to be about sam and spencer and how they ended up together after sam saves spencer from bullies -but there will be a LOT of lemons in it xD- but dean and castiel will be in it too.

Again, tanks for reading and let me know what you think! :D


	11. Epilogue

Epilogue: Two Years Later.

Dean had had a lot of time to think about what he was going to do. He had been planning it since the day after he had lost Castiel for the second time...and he had told Sammy the day after that. Of course, he knew his little brother wouldn't have just accepted it like that. But after a few weeks, Sam had told Spencer...and Dean had no idea what the geek had said, but god, he loved that kid. He truly, truly loved the kid.

He had somehow convinced Sammy that Dean was making the right choice, of course he was, but...it coming from Spencer's perspective seemed to work better for Sam. Once Spencer had spoken to Sammy, he had accepted Dean's choice. And although Dean didn't want to leave Sammy, he had to. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't cope without Cas. He needed to be with Cas. _His_ Cas.

So...Sam and Spencer had helped him plan. Sammy had picked the date; he had picked it so Dean would see his eighteenth birthday, of course Dean had agreed with the date, he wanted to see Sammy, his little brother, turn eighteen.

He had chosen how, he didn't want to burden Sammy or Spencer with that...and he knew if he'd of asked, Sam would have said no for the both of them.

He looked at his baby brother...no, Sammy wasn't a baby anymore. He was eighteen...and he had been so tall for so long. He had helped his older brother plan what he was going to do. He had decided to go to college, but still keep the apartment that he and Dean had lived in for so long. He had gotten a part time job too. No, Sam was defiantly no baby.

His brother's eyes were red from crying so much, but he was smiling softly. "You okay, Sammy?"

Sam just nodded.

Dean nodded too. "You...you don't hate me for this, do y' Sam?"

Sam's eyes filled up again as he looked into Dean's eyes. "No, I don't _hate_ you. You know I don't. I...it's strange, but I'm happy for you." He smiled at his older brother.

"Yeah?"

Sam nodded and wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders. "I love you...jerk."

Dean wrapped his arms tightly around Sam's body and held him close for a little while. He pulled away and ruffled his brother's hair. "Love you too, bitch." He grinned, his eyes watering.

Sam grinned back at him. He leaned into his brother and gave him another hug, whispering into his ear. "I don't mean just yet, but I...I'm going to ask Spence to marry me. I wanted you to know." He pulled away from Dean.

Dean gripped tightly at Sam's waist, the tears slowly flowing over his eyes; Sammy was going to marry Spencer...and he wasn't going to be there, he wasn't going to be best man at his brother's wedding. He shook his head and smiled at Sammy; he was still making the right choice. He was. "I'm glad for you, Sammy, so glad...and so, so proud." He smiled widely. "I love you, baby brother."

"I love you too." Sam smiled and turned to look over his shoulder, towards his bedroom. "Spence! Come here." He shouted. "Be nice to him, he cares too."

Dean grinned. "I'm always nice to the little geek." He was partially telling the truth. He and Spencer had grown quite close the past two years; Dean was nicer to him...although he still liked to tease him.

"Hey..." Spencer said quietly as he came into the living area. "Erm, I..."

Dean smiled and walked over to Spencer, placing his hand in his long brown hair. "You look after my brother, y' hear?"

Spencer nodded. "I will. I'm not going to leave him."

"Good." Dean's smile widened and he ruffled Spencer's hair, before walking back to Sammy. He gripped his brother's shoulder tightly, reassuringly as he kissed his forehead. "I love you, Sammy."

Sam smiled and nodded, his eyes filled with tears. "Love you, too." He sobbed.

Dean squeezed Sammy's shoulder before looking back at Spencer and nodding to him, before leaving the apartment.

Sam went straight to Spencer, throwing his arms around his boyfriend and pulling him close, crying onto his shoulder.

* * *

Castiel had been watching Dean on and off over the past two years, he wanted to watch him all the time, keep an eye on him, make sure he was okay, make sure he was happy...but it hurt too much. He just couldn't watch all the time.

He hadn't watched at all in the past two months. He had watched Dean crying straight after he had gotten back to the in-between...but he had stopped once Sam and Spencer went to him. He hadn't watched after that for almost three months...and things confused him, Dean and Sam and Spencer talked about things he didn't understand, he knew Dean had a plan for something, but he didn't know what it was.

And he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

But he had to find out.

He brought up what was happening now at the apartment. He frowned deeply, Sam and Spencer were holding each other...and Sam was crying so hard, it was heartbreaking to watch and Castiel didn't even know why he was crying.

He scanned the apartment for Dean, but he wasn't there. Where could he be? He started to wonder if he and Sam had had an argument and that was why Sam was crying...but he was cut off when he heard footsteps behind him. He frowned. There was nobody here. Kyle and Aaron had moved on little under a year ago...and nobody who passed by the in-between came anywhere near him. He stood up slowly and turned around.

He froze. This...this was impossible.

No. No, it wasn't.

This meant he was dead. Tears sprung to his eyes...and he was shocked to find it wasn't because he was sad that he was dead...it was because he was happy he was here. He had him back. They could be together. Forever.

"Hey, Cas." Dean smiled softly.

"Dean!" Castiel cried happily. He ran to his boyfriend, his arms wrapping around his neck and his face buried in Dean's shoulder. He was crying.

"Cas." Dean said, smiling happily. "I missed you so much." He said rubbing Cas' back.

Castiel looked up at Dean's face, smiling. "I missed you, too." He leaned up and pressed his lips to Dean's, their arms tightening around the other.

* * *

THE END!

Thank you all so much for reading, faving, reviewing and alerting! It really means so much to me, :D

I forgot to mention at the end of chapter ten, that I wasn't you guys would like the end of this fic...just incase I made it too hard to understand, Dean comits suicide somehow...I didn't put anything specific because I thought I'd leave it up to you guys to imagine how he killed himself (everyone has different views on Dean, so I'm sure everyone would imagine he would comit suicide in different ways (not that I think for one second dean would commit suicide, he just isn't that kind of person)

So, thank you all for reading and everything! I'd love to know what you all thought of it, and I'd be pretty interested to find out how you guys think he killed himself.


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